453 classic BOFH excuses as a free JSON API. No auth. No nonsense.
bofh.bombeck.io · OpenAPI Spec

# JSON (default)
curl https://bofh.bombeck.io/v1/excuses/random

# Plain text — just the excuse
curl -H "Accept: text/plain" https://bofh.bombeck.io/v1/excuses/random

{
  "data": { "id": 42, "excuse": "Solar flares" },
  "meta": { "total": 453 },
  "error": null
}

const res = await fetch("https://bofh.bombeck.io/v1/excuses/random");
const { data } = await res.json();
console.log(data.excuse);

import requests
r = requests.get("https://bofh.bombeck.io/v1/excuses/random")
print(r.json()["data"]["excuse"])

resp, _ := http.Get("https://bofh.bombeck.io/v1/excuses/random")
defer resp.Body.Close()
body, _ := io.ReadAll(resp.Body)
fmt.Println(string(body))

echo "Excuse: $(curl -sH 'Accept: text/plain' https://bofh.bombeck.io/v1/excuses/random)"

Base URL: https://bofh.bombeck.io OpenAPI: /openapi.json

All responses follow the envelope { data, meta, error }. Set Accept: text/plain on any excuse endpoint to get raw text instead of JSON.

Single excuse — GET /v1/excuses/random

{
  "data": { "id": 42, "excuse": "Solar flares" },
  "meta": { "total": 453 },
  "error": null
}

Multiple excuses — GET /v1/excuses/random?count=3

{
  "data": [
    { "id": 112, "excuse": "clock speed" },
    { "id": 7, "excuse": "Cosmic rays" },
    { "id": 301, "excuse": "Failure to adjust for stripes" }
  ],
  "meta": { "count": 3, "total": 453 },
  "error": null
}

Plain text — curl -H "Accept: text/plain" .../v1/excuses/random

Solar flares

{
  "data": null,
  "meta": null,
  "error": { "code": "NOT_FOUND", "message": "excuse #999 not found" }
}

• 1,000 requests per 15 minutes per IP
• Standard RateLimit-* headers in all responses
• /health is excluded from rate limiting

docker run -d -p 3000:3000 -e ATTACKS_API_KEY=your-secret ghcr.io/mbombeck/bofh:latest

git clone https://github.com/MBombeck/bofh.git
cd bofh
npm ci && npm run build
ATTACKS_API_KEY=your-secret npm start

The Bastard Operator From Hell is a fictional rogue sysadmin created by Simon Travaglia in 1992. The original excuse list of 453 entries was compiled by Jeff Ballard.

• Simon Travaglia — Creator of the Bastard Operator From Hell
• Jeff Ballard — Original BOFH excuse list compiler
• Built by Marc Bombeck

MIT