The Law of Averages, Chapter 1

Helloooo, and welcome to my latest venture into the crazy world that is legacy writing. Except technically, this time, it's not a legacy. Well what is it then, I hear you cry? Some of you may know of a challenge called the Average Family challenge. It's not as well-known as the legacy or the apocalypse, and I don't know why because it's great. Basically, you marry two sims in CAS, move them into a house and go through five generations. But as it's an Average Family, only males can work and heirs must marry the first sim of the opposite sex they see upon reaching adulthood. There are also mini-challenges that must be achieved before the last child of generation 5 reaches adulthood. I've posted a list of these, and noted which ones I've achieved so far, on the boolprop.com thread for this story.So, let's meet our founders...

This is Daxton Average. I've decided to use a naming theme of unique and unusual names for our main line of Averages; I know plain and traditional names would fit better, but I hate all those boring old names that you hear hundreds of times a day, and I couldn't bring myself to name 5 generations of sims that way. So weird names it is :D Daxton is a fortune sim with the LTW to Become the Law. Thankfully, it's easy to acheive. He has a 9,2,6,3,5 personality, which means he's very neat, quite active and nice, but serious and shy. He likes logical people who are good cooks, but hates zombies.

His wife is Oriana Average, a popularity sim with the LTW to have 20 simultaneous pet friends *shudder* Oriana's personality is 4,4,4,7,6, which means she's playful and nice, but slightly sloppy, shy and lazy. Oh, I forgot to mention that both Daxton and Oriana were completely randomised. The challenge rules stipulate that you have to roll the dice a certain number of times, click randomise and then keep whatever sim it lands on, no matter how bad they look. I think I did pretty well with Daxton and Oriana; it could have gone much worse.

They live with their... holy crow, what is that?!I'll have you know I'm a very good looking cat.A cat? Oh thank goodness, I thought it was some kind of alien!! Wait a minute... you can talk?Well of course; you don't think I'm just gonna let the humans have their say, do you?Of course not... Anyway, this is Luxor, the male... actually, I'm not at all sure what breed he is. I downloaded him from MTS2, and he was the most un-average cat I could find :) We need him because one of the challenges is to raise a litter of kittens or puppies, and I chose cats because they're easier to keep and I haven't played any cats for a while.

The family lives here, a cute little average house. It's a great starter home actually; there are two bedrooms with a space that could be used as a tiny nursery, and it's still under 20,000 simoleans.

Unfortunately, Daxton is turning out to be the most sinfully boring sim I've ever played. He never changes his expression, he stands there like a statue whenever someone talks to him and his want panel... well.... *yawn*....

Oriana on the other hand... well, she's just obsessed with pets. No wonder she has the LTW to be friends with 20 of them. All she ever does is play (or try to play) with Luxor. I don't think he's too fond of it, though...

"Awwww, who's my little purple bundle of kittney-witteny cuteness?!“Call me that again and lose an eye, foolish human. These claws aren't for decoration, you know.

Now that's just handing it to me on a plate! Get ready to lose a finger!

Ah, no!! Give me that finger back!! I'll use the ancient art of levitating cat kung-fu on you!!"Hee hee, silly kitty. Get down.“Oriana's clearly not aware of Luxor's slightly evil tendencies...

Luxor, what are you doing?Sharpening my claws. That human woman's going to get an interesting surprise next time she plays finger wiggle with me...Ah, Oriana's not that bad.She didn't call you her little purple bundle of kitteny-witteny cuteness.....Good point.

To try and distract her from Luxor, I've given Oriana the job of skilling up in creativity so she can paint the family portraits. They're not a requirement of the challenge, but I quite like having them to remind me of generations gone by. Plus they'll decorate the walls nicely :)

As for Daxton, luckily the Law career came up in the first day's newspaper, so he's on the way to achieving his LTW. And hopefully doing something interesting."There are 4375 words on this page, which is less than the previous page but more than the one 2 pages ahead, which contains just 2310 words, which is half the....“*snore*

I suddenly remembered that it takes two cats to produce little kitties (don't ask; I'd had a long day when I made this family) so we've adopted little Heidi here as a friend for Luxor. Although at the moment, she doesn't look all that friendly...I smell human flesh! Grrrrrrr!Poor Oriana's got two murderous cats after her now.

Did you get a promotion, Daxton?"No, I did not. It appears I require a friend.“Hahahahahaha... er, I mean... okay then..."Quite.“Where on earth we're going to find someone who's prepared to be friends with Daxton, I have no idea.

However, we found Neil Chalmers out on the street, so we dragged him inside for a chat."Dude, you've just met me and you're talking about boats? Don't you have anything more interesting to say?“"Boats are interesting.“"Oh yeah... I'm really interested."

"Would you rather I speak of my love for my wife?“"Now that's more like it.“"I find her cat-worshipping ways intriguing.“"...Right... I'm gonna go now...“And he did. Neil was out of there faster than Luxor runs away from Oriana.

Speaking of Oriana, Daxton manages to look boring even when he's doing something romantic with her. "You are my wife. You are known as Oriana. I will kiss you now.“"Oh Daxton; you're so romantic!!“Oriana's a bit of a ditz; she never really notices much. I suppose it comes from being married to Daxton.

So what does good ol' Dax like to do with his days? Relax on the spare room's single bed and read. This is all he does, all day long, unless I tell him to do something slightly more annoying and inconvenient, like oooo, I don't know.... eat?!?!“There are 1456 pages in this--“You know what Daxton? I really don't need to know.

Who are you, fellow cat?I am Heidi... who... I mean... what are you?I am a cat!! Jeez, why is it so hard for people to understand that?!!Well I think you're a very dashing looking cat.You... you do? You don't think I'm... Ugly?Oh no! I quite like the black fur and purple dots. I think it makes you look edgy.Well... you're not so bad yourself...Awww... cat love! :D These two are quite close actually; they always follow each other around. Sometimes I think Luxor's training Heidi, though...

Luxor, what are you doing?Keeping my claws sharp for the next time that human woman finds me. You should do the same you know, Heidi.

But she's always been kind to us... still, I do like a good nibble on a finger every now and again.That's my girl! Keep scratching!!

Promotion, Dax?"No.“Oh. Had a good day at work, Dax?"Yes." Great.... glad to be home, Dax?"Of course.“Gee... it's been soooooo nice talking to you, but I must go and see what Oriana's doing...

Arrrrghhhh, she found it!!! She found my weakness!! How did she know that scratching me behind the ears renders me helpless?!"You're such a sweet little kitty cat, aren't you my lovely little Luxor?" *makes a mental note to try and keep Oriana away from the cats*

The only thing that Daxton seems to enjoy is cleaning. With 9 neat points, he lives for it. I never normally have sims with that many neat points, so it's nice to see a house that never has a chance to get dirty for once.

But Daxton doesn't mix well with others, as you may have guessed. This is what happens when people try to talk to him. "I certainly do not think so, Mister! No I shall not be playing red hands with you. That is considered to be fun and interesting, neither of which are in my vocabulary."

"What did I say?“It was probably your mouth that scared him off more than what you said, Nameless Townie Guy...

To try and get at least one of the challenges completed, I send Heidi and Luxor into the pet house for some... ahem... 'quality' time together. I'd rather get the kittens out of the way now and wait until they're born and at least a day old, so I don't have to worry about Oriana getting pregnant and then having to raise the kittens and a baby all at the same time. I'm a bad enough player as it is, without kittens and children being taken away by the social worker all at once.

Please let it be just one kitten, please just one... *crosses fingers*

"I appear to have burnt my dinner.“Yes; yes you have, Daxton. "Oh dear.“Yes... oh dear indeed. Ha. Stupid human. Luxor was right; they don't know anything.You and Luxor have been spending far too much time together, Heidi...

Promotion, Dax?"Yes.“...Really?“Yes." Yay, finally!

And you brought a friend home too? *jaw drops to the floor* Daxton, you have friends?"At work, yes.“Aw... it almost makes you proud!!

He's smiling!!! He's actually smiling!!! I think he might just be enjoying the conversation...

Ah. Now I see why. I thought he might have been talking about his favourite topic, but surprisingly enough this isn't it. You want to know what it is?

.... ghosts. That's right. Daxton has a thing for talking about ghosts. I wouldn't mind so much if he were a knowledge sim, but he's fortune... how did he get this obsession with ghosts?

"Honey... why do you talk about ghosts all the time, even though no one we know has died and you've never seen one?"

"That does not mean they do not exist, wife! Do you mock me? Do you make fun of my belief? We'll see who is mocking and laughing when you too are introduced to their wonder and glory!"

"Of course I'm not mocking you, I just thought... well, I wondered... I wanted to know... never mind.“Aw, I almost feel sorry for Oriana, having to put up with Daxton. Almost. The cat thing still freaks me out.

I feel funny... like I've eaten too much garbage.Charming, Heidi. Thanks for that.

I think I'll just lay down for a second. These sparkly things are annoying me and making me feel dizzy.Kittytime!!

THREE?! What are you trying to do to me, Heidi? *sigh* Anyway.... meet Inky (left), Jazz (middle) and Kazoo (right). Inky's a girl, and Jazz and Kazoo are boys, by the way. And they're all complete clones of each other. Same looks, same personality, everything. Although they are still kittens; maybe they'll be different when they grow up. Right now though they all have black fur, which I think is Luxor's base coat, so they'll probably look more like him than Heidi.

Does this small creature belong to me?Yes Luxor; that's your son. Huh. Doesn't look much like me.Well Heidi doesn't have black fur, and she's not been with any other cats, so he must be yours.Huh. Well, I suppose I can find a use for him.

However, no sooner had Luxor turned his back when Jazz was set upon by Oriana. "Kitty! You're sooooo cute and adorable and lovely and cuddly and--" *gags Oriana*

Urgh!!! This one's been touched by the human!Yep, sorry Luxor. Give him a wash; that should get all the germs off.

Oooo, another promotion?"Yes.“And you actually look happy, too! Good times!!!

I don't really know how anyone can raise their fun meter by cleaning out a litter tray, but Daxton can. He loves this sort of stuff. Odd man, that one...

Now the kittens are a day and a half old, I've decided to let Oriana get pregnant. That way by the time the baby's born, the kittens should be grown up and I can sell them on and concentrate solely on the baby. See? I have it all planned :D

Oh for the love of... Daxton!!!!“There are flames! Flames are bad!!“Yes, very! Call the fire brigade!

After strolling achingly slowly to the telephone, Daxton at least has the good sense to look scared. Stupid sim.

But Ichelle here manages to get to us in time, and both Daxton and the toasted sandwiches he was making were saved.

Thanks Ichelle. Say, before you go... what happened to the M in front of your name?"It got burnt off." Ah, I see.

Yup, Oriana's preggers now. Which hopefully means there'll be some interesting sims around this place. Daxton bores me to tears, and all Oriana ever does is sleep, paint and play with the cats.

"My spaghetti's sleeping!! Shush!!!"....Sure it is, Oriana. By the way, I think you have a bit of pasta stuck to your cheek...

ORIANA!!!"I'm sorry!“I know one of the challenges is to have someone die in a fire, but NOT YET!! I was saving that for a sim I really don't like!"Help!!“*sigh* Go and call Ichelle.

Thanks Ichelle; sorry it's the second time this week you've been called to this house. *glares at Oriana*"No probs; it's kind of expected when you're the one playing the game.“What? I know I'm kind of known for accidental fires breaking out on my sims lots, but I'm not that bad am I? Hey, stop sniggering!!

Doing anything interesting, Daxton? Ah no, of course not. Silly me. "Quite."

Oh for pity's sake, a burgular too?!

"Mwahahaha, so many pretty things!“Well, you've got all the time in the world to take them since Daxton's taking so frickin' long to walk down the stairs!!

"Argh!!“Yes Daxton, I know, it's a burgular."No! This phone, it has such germs on it! I must clean immediately!“NO!! Deal with the burgular first; THEN you can clean it, okay?!

*sniggers at how girly the policeman looks*"I will run away!“No Daxton!!! What are you going to do; leave your pregnant and vulnerable wife upstairs alone?

Besides, the policeman has it all under control."Aha! I shall karate chop you to death!!!”See?

"Thank you for apprehending the villain, officer.“"No problem. Hey, nice squiggles, by the way.“"Why thank you.“*sigh* Only Daxton could paint whilst his house is being burgled...

Sparkly kittens means they're finally growing up and I can finally sell two of them, meaning less cats for Oriana to obsess over.

This one's Jazz, who didn't really inherit much from Heidi. He's black with a purple face and yellow eyes.

And his sister Inky looks very much like him, although I think her body's slightly thinner, and she has Heidi’s green eyes. For some reason I didn't take a photo of the last kitten, Kazoo, but he looks almost exactly like Luxor.

Just because I like the look of her best, and because she learnt the most skills, I'll be keeping Inky and selling Jazz and Kazoo to our good family friend, Neil Chalmers.

Oriana was sad to see them go, but I wasn't. Three cats and a baby will be plenty for me, thank you very much.

Speaking of baby..."Owwwww!! Daxton, wake up!“"*mumble mumble* Hush wife! *mumble*“"DAXTON!"

So with Daxton only just managing to get himself out of bed to see the last stages of the birth, let's welcome the little boy into the world.

"I have a son!“Wow, he's never looked this happy before... closet family sim, maybe? Yes, you have a son, Daxton. And we'll name him... wait a minute...

Oriana.... why are you leaving the baby on the floor and walking off... please don't tell me...

TWINS?! Oriana, you did this on purpose!!!"What's wrong with twins? I love twins!“I don't; not when you hardly have enough money for one baby!! Still, I suppose it is another of the challenges completed. And this baby's a girl, so now we have one of each... *sigh* All right then. I suppose it's a good thing.

So this is Xyris, the little girl, who has her mother's blue eyes and black hair like both her parents...

And here's her brother, Kyran. He has black hair too, but his father's brown eyes.

Aw, look, it's one of Daxton's surprise friends actually being helpful and washing the babies for us, rather than just watching television like most townies seem to do!

The twins seem to be opposites so far. Xyris screams and cries all day, even when there's nothing wrong with her.

Kyran, on the other hand, hasn't made a sound since he was born. You can guess which one I prefer at the moment.

Here are the portraits of Daxton and Oriana, by the way. Don't they look pretty? :D

Oriana seems to have moved on from her obsession with cats and now has an obsession with feeding the children bottle after bottle after bottle. She seems to favour Xyris though, which of course makes her scream all the more because she constantly needs changing. *sigh* Thanks, Oriana.

And of course, then she does this, and just leaves them on the floor with the dirty bottles. Again, thanks Oriana.

Oh joy, we have bugs. Spray, Oriana; SPRAY!!! I don't want this family having the flu for the next four generations, thank you.

"It's too late for us Bob, save yourself!!“"Nooooo Mavis, I can't leave you and the kids!"

Huh. Guess Oriana's really not worried too much about Bob, Mavis and the kids...

Daxton got promoted again, thank goodness. It's really hard to get him promoted with him being so socially awkward and not making friends easily.

And because babyhood is terribly dull, let's zoom forwards to aging up time. Yikes, Daxton, that looks painful for little Xyris. Glad you have a smile on your face though.

Wow. She's kinda cute, but that's a heck of a nose... where did that come from?! I think it must have been Oriana; Daxton's nose isn't that bad.

Awww, she is quite cute though :D Mind you, she has a heck of a personality. 10, 10, 3, 3, 2... Very neat and very outgoing but very lazy, serious and grouchy. Explains why she was such a little madam as a baby then...

Here goes Kyran... Oriana, you don't have to glitch your arms up like that just to grow him up.... Jeez, can't my sims do anything?

Okay... the dreads are gonna have to go. But other than that, I supose he's quite cute. He's got the nose problem too though. His personality is a lot more manageable than Xyris-- 9,2,7,3,5. Very neat and active, but shy and serious.

After a makeover, he really does look like a little cutie. And Daxton seems very taken with him, surprisingly.

So I shall leave you here, with this cute picture of Kyran and Xyris. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and if you did please leave me comments and come back for the next chapter! Bye for now!

The Law of Averages, Chapter 1

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The Law of Averages, Chapter 1