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Lez Miserable

Eleanor Margolis: sapphic cynic at large

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Tube passengers at Charing Cross Station on the Northern Line, March 1993
Lez Miserable: "Welcome to the Lesbian Bermuda Triangle of doomed romance"
By Eleanor Margolis - 28 May 9:03

The Northern Line is a veritable lesbian hot spot. Nowhere else can you run into so many failed dates from the past at the same time.

3 Comments
Krista Siegfrids, Finland's Eurovision entry, locks lips on stage
Lez Miserable: "Every time I kiss a woman in public, I risk homophobic abuse."
By Eleanor Margolis - 21 May 10:29

This is a time in which we gays should be kissing and holding hands anywhere and everywhere.

10 Comments
Adult onesie. Photograph: Getty Images.
The animal onesie: the fluffy scourge of Generation Y
By Eleanor Margolis - 14 May 10:21

Adults, myself included, are regressing to childhood - moving back in with their parents, job-hunting in between porn-viewing sessions and eating bowls of Frosties for dinner. Who could blame us?

9 Comments
A still from the film Peaches Does Herself.
Lez Miserable: the teaches of Peaches
By Eleanor Margolis - 07 May 11:04

Eleanor Margolis meets the high-priestess of sexually charged punk electronica and singer of Fuck the Pain Away, Diddle My Skittle and Tent in Your Pants.

2 Comments
Natalie Portman as "yet another crazy lesbian" in Black Swan.
I’d rather be labelled “another crazy lesbian” than treat my mental health as taboo
By Eleanor Margolis - 30 April 9:13

While dealing with the beak-faced bastard of her own depression, Eleanor Margolis worries she's a traitor for perpetuating the “crazy lesbian” stereotype.

6 Comments
The lesbian scene is a lot like this scene from the 1971 film of "Fiddler on the
Hypochondria, baked goods and matchmaking: the uncanny similarities between lesbians and Jews
By Eleanor Margolis - 23 April 9:06

Semites and Sapphics have more in common than you might think, says Eleanor Margolis.

5 Comments
Justin Bieber performing recently at the O2 in London. Photograph: Getty Images
Justin Bieber is a glorified Furby. Why do we expect him to have views on the Holocaust?
By Eleanor Margolis - 16 April 9:32

We need much more of a Henry VIII-style attitude to celebrities – less adulation, and more “amuse me minstrels and if you’re very, very good I might not have you executed”.

8 Comments
Members of the group Dykes on Bikes at the gay pride parade in San Francisco
Top ten stupid questions people ask lesbians
By Eleanor Margolis - 09 April 10:06

If you’re a woman who fancies women, I guarantee you will have rolled your eyes at some of these idiotic queries.

115 Comments
Snoop Lion/Dog. Photograph: Getty Images
Lez Miserable: “Everyone's coming out, including Hillary Clinton and Snoop Lion”
By Eleanor Margolis - 02 April 10:12

While it’s great to have Hillary and Snoop on board the equal marriage bandwagon, Eleanor can’t help feeling they care a little bit too much about vote-chasing and record sales to be celebrated as true converts to the cause just yet.

5 Comments
Photograph: Getty Images
Lez Miserable: “You’re very pretty. Have you ever had sex with an American girl?”
By Eleanor Margolis - 26 March 12:54

During a sojourn in New York, Eleanor visits the most densely populated lesbian space she’s ever encountered.

5 Comments
Not exaclty that kind of guinea pig.
Lez Miserable: “Straight girls, please stop flirting with me. Now.”
By Eleanor Margolis - 19 March 14:29

Join our newest columnist, Eleanor Margolis, as she takes a frank, funny and cynical tour through life as a twentysomething lesbian. This week, she painstakingly explains to straight girls why she doesn’t want to be the guinea pig for their same-sex experimentation.

15 Comments
Legs. Photo: Getty
Lez Miserable: "I'm more Byron Burger than Lord Byron. Is that why I can't get a date?"
By Eleanor Margolis - 12 March 13:06

Meet our new columnist, Eleanor Margolis, as she takes a frank, funny and cynical tour through life as a twentysomething lesbian. In her second piece, she describes what it's like to fancy women who wouldn’t give you the time of day on their ironic 80s Casio watches.

2 Comments
A cart full of sex toys. Photo: Getty
Lez Miserable: "Ooh, look at that one - it's got veins!"
By Eleanor Margolis - 11 March 20:14

Meet our new columnist, Eleanor Margolis, as she takes a frank, funny and cynical tour through life as a twentysomething lesbian. In her first piece, her vibrator bites the dust, and her mother is keen to help her replace it.

6 Comments

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