TheUniversalGenreSavvyGuide / Western Animation

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TheUniversalGenreSavvyGuide/WesternAnimation

I will read the "Fairy Tales" guide from end to end. I know how many cartoons are adapted from them.
I will read the "Fantasy" guide from end to end. I know how many cartoons are adapted from fantasy, and what many old stories get modernized by modern authors, consciously or not.
I will read the "Superhero" guide from end to end. I know how many cartoons are adapted from superheroes.
I will read the "Science Fiction" guide from end to end. I know how many cartoons are set in space and futuristic environments.
Going hunting is practically begging to be messed with by the resident wily game animal, to my own detriment. Restaurants, grocery stores, and vegetarian-based diets exist for a reason, and even if I happen to be a carnivorous wild animal, I will endure the inevitable taunting from my predatory peers, because wild game just isn't worth the injuries.
- Preferably, I won't be a carnivorous animal in the first place. Instead, I would be omnivorous - "can eat meat, but is perfectly fine eating nothing but vegetation". Therefore, I would choose to either change/alter my species, or be a mutant with heavily altered physiology (if Artistic License results in oddities like "male kangaroo with a pouch" or "bull with udder" - then I could as well be "mutant fox capable of sustaining itself entirely on hay").
- Or, alternatively, I would have a magic bag of tricks, from which I could pull out anything I need - like Felix the Cat. Therefore, if I want something, I would simply pull it out of the bag (i.e. make out of nowhere) - instantly and for free.
- If I'm a bear, I won't try to eat or steal food from humans.
If I must go hunting, I will shoot any woman that looks like my quarry in a dress.
If I'm making a recipe that requires a specific resident game animal as an ingredient with absolutely no options for substitution, I will throw that recipe in the garbage and cook something else. That recipe is either a trap by the resident game animal to lure me into pursuing it, or just terribly written and likely not as good as it seems.
I will never, ever look down for any reason.
- The exception to this is if I notice a shadow growing around me. In which case I will not look up. Instead, I will proceed calmly but quickly to the closest structure with a sufficiently reinforced roof.
When I have to tie a rope to something, I will choose the rock that matches the color of the rest of the scenery.
If I am a cat, I will befriend the mouse instead of chasing it down.
- I will not, however, kiss the mouse. Best to keep away from temptation.
- If I'm a cat and I don't want to become a Vegetarian Carnivore, I will simply get adopted and have my owner feed me cat food, rather than trying to eat mice, rats, or birds. I may eat fish, however, just as long as they're not pet fish.
- If I'm a cat, I will not antagonise any dogs. Due to Cats Are Mean being a trope, the cat usually loses in a cat vs. dog fight.
I will either get a cat or a dog or a bird—NOT a cat and a dog or a cat and a bird.
If I am a person of color, I will determine whether the cartoon was made before or after the American Civil Rights Movement and act accordingly.
I will not have fairy godparents. They are Idiot Balls with wands, and their magic is not worth a constantly miserable life where Status Quo Is God, especially when said magic can't help when it's really needed.
- If I have them anyways, I will make standing wish "Say consequences of wish and do it only when it's confirmed" and "Say when doing the wish would - temporarily or otherwise - make casting new wishes impossible - and do said wish only when it's confirmed".
If I'm a member of a team of heroes fighting a team of villains, I will hang back and let the newest guy show off his stuff.
If I am a supervillain, I will not join any team of villains after fighting the heroes alone. It is a surefire way to lose fighting skills, especially if my voice actor isn't available to record new dialogue.
If a trap I laid fails to catch my quarry, I will not check to see what went wrong. It is a surefire way to get caught in the trap myself.
If I am in an adult animated comedy show that Loren Bouchard wasn't involved in, and I'm not one of the main characters, I will stay inside and in hiding as much as possible, and never say yes to anything. Because everything is trying to kill me, or at least maim me.
If it's a kiddie cartoon:
- I will not be mean to anyone — Laser-Guided Karma is a force to be reckoned with in kid shows.
- I won't break any rules, because otherwise I'll find I Can't Get Away with Nuthin'.
- I will avoid having any responsibilities or things to look forward to, or getting too cold or wet, lest I get sick or injure an arm or leg. This goes double if I'm the protagonist, their mother, or someone the protagonist idolises. If someone already is sick, I'll stay away from them, wash my hands a lot if I must be near them, and I will definitely avoid Playing Sick or trying to catch their disease.
- I won't eat too much sugar. At best, I'll get a high. At worst, I'll get a stomach ache or a cavity. I also won't skip any meals, especially not breakfast.
- If there's an Injection Plot and I'm Afraid of Needles, I'll suck it up and get vaccinated. If I don't, I'll probably catch whatever disease the vaccine was created for.
- If I'm a pet or a grandparent, I will try my best to be a recurring character, to lessen my chances of being the casualty of a Death Is a Sad Thing plot. If my or someone else's pet dies or goes missing, I won't replace it — that never fools anyone.
- I will check the sex of my pets, and get them spayed or neutered.
- If it's my birthday, and other characters aren't wishing me a happy birthday, I will outright remind them that it's my birthday rather than being cryptic. Moreover, if I'm the one planning a Surprise Party, I will still wish the birthday character a happy birthday, but simply not mention anything about a party, to avoid complications.
- I will not hold my pee if there's a bathroom available — that never ends well.
- I will refrain from lying.
- I won't play near valuable objects, especially not vases. If I end up breaking something anyway, I won't try to hide, fix, or replace it and inevitably fail.
- If it's Christmastime, I will follow the "no meanness" and "no lying" rules even more strictly, and I also won't be greedy, anti-Christmas, cynical, or selfish, nor will I state that Santa Claus doesn't exist or, worse, try to prove he doesn't.
- I will not stay up late, and if I can't sleep, I won't wake other characters up to bother them about it.
- If I gain a new hobby, I'll balance it with my other hobbies and my responsibilities. I absolutely will not obsess over it, no matter how fun it is.
- If I'm pregnant and I already have a child, I will let them know in advance that there isn't much a baby can do so they won't be disappointed, that babies are Prone to Tears and wear diapers so they won't be too bothered by those things, and that new babies need a lot of attention but it doesn't mean we love the first kid any less so they won't be jealous. If I'm a kid, and my mother is pregnant, I will realise these things about babies.
- I will check the forecast before planning anything — nobody wants an event to be cancelled due to the rain, snow, or lack of snow.
If I own a pet, and I get married, have a baby, or adopt a second pet, I will make sure to give my (first) pet just as much attention as the new arrival so they don't become a Jealous Pet.
If I own a pet and adopt a second one, and then one of the pets starts misbehaving but I don't know which one, and my first pet is not normally a Troublesome Pet, I will presume it was the second pet who misbehaved.
I will steer clear of any baby that looks like the villain in a diaper.
If I wear new clothes, I will make sure they're washable.
If my dog doesn't trust somebody, I will presume it's because the new person is evil. Likewise if any babies don't like the newcomer.
I won't trust anyone who is the only character in black, has a deeper voice than the other characters, has a crazed-sounding laugh, or just generally looks like a comic book villain.
I won't eat spicy food — it's bound to not sit well with one end or the other.
If I'm the parent or babysitter of a baby who's learned how to crawl or walk, I will keep an eye on them at all times.
I won't play with toys if they can easily land into the clutches of the Fun-Hating Confiscating Adult (like in my yard if my neighbour is a Cranky Neighbor for instance). I won't even bother trying to fly a kite.

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