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Leaving the dungeon probably seemed like such a good idea at the time.
No Cure for the Paladin Blues is the second story arc of The Order of the Stick, covering strips #122
-300.
After their successful adventure in the Dungeon of Dorukan, the Order attempt to wind down and follow a side quest in the local forest. However, things begin to turn serious when a mysterious assassin clad in blue confronts them, claiming they are guilty of weakening the very fabric of space and time...
The plot summary below is split into two parts: one featuring the Order, and the other featuring Team Evil.
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The Order
After their victory, the Order head into town to book an inn, rest, and resupply. After they split their treasure, they decide on magic items – Durkon gets an amulet of natural armour, Belkar gets a ring of jumping +20, V chooses a ring of wizardry, Haley gets a bag of holding, Elan gets boots of elvenkind, and Roy is left with a bag of tricks. Belkar decides to multiclass into barbarian, while Roy learns that his ancestral sword was forged from starmetal – to fix it, he must find some. The blacksmith suggests travelling into the nearby Wooden Forest, as a meteorite containing the required metal crashed inside there a century ago.
Roy manipulates the Order into joining him in searching for the starmetal, and they take horses into the Wooden Forest. Unbeknownst to them, however, the blacksmith was actually Sabine in disguise, who used the starmetal as a Snipe Hunt to sidetrack the Order while the Linear Guild regroup and recruit new members to replace Hilgya, Zz'ditri, and Yikyik. Inside the forest, after Roy fashions a greatclub from a stout tree branch, the Order are attacked by a group of bandits, which they easily defeat. However, they come under attack from archers, and Elan is captured by the bandits in the heat of battle.
The Order decide to rescue Elan, but Roy decides to leave him to his fate, viewing Elan as too incompetent to help them anymore. The rest of the Order go to save Elan without Roy, but are defeated and captured as well, with the exception of Durkon (who flees due to being scared of trees). Haley manages to befriend one of the bandits, a grey-haired old man, after they discuss the economic viability of being bandits, and learns that he used to be the leader of the group. The bandits were once Merry Men-esque thieves who only stole from the rich and universally despised, but the leader was since overthrown by his daughter, bratty teenage sorcerer Samantha, who is selfish and hedonistic.
The Order find Elan and Samantha making love in a tent, which disgusts everyone – however, Elan mindlessly states that it’s his job as a bard to seduce opposition, prompting the bandits to turn against Haley and take the Order prisoner once again. Haley attempts to challenge Samantha for leadership of the bandits, but is defeated. Meanwhile, Roy realizes his mistake and goes back to save his allies alongside Durkon – as Haley, Elan, V, and Belkar are being hung, the two attack, slaughtering several of the bandits and freeing their allies. Samantha successfully defeats the Order, but she uses up most of her HP and spell slots in the process, enabling her father to knock her out and reclaim leadership of the bandits.
Durkon accidentally becomes leader of the bandits after casting Thor’s lightning on a tree he perceives to be attacking them, knocking out Samantha’s father in the process. He heals the rest of the Order, gets them resupplied, and disbands the bandit group, leaving Samantha and her father tied up in the woods. Haley bluffs to Elan and convinced him that Roy didn’t really abandon him, and the Order continue on their journey. Meanwhile, an assassin clad in azure blue searches the town, learning of stories about the Order from other civilians. However, they are worded in such a way (or mixed up with stories of the Linear Guild) that the assassin comes to believe that the Order are a band of Evil adventurers, and vows to kill them.
As they continue on their journey, the Order encounter a green hag, who transforms Vaarsuvius into a lizard using a baleful polymorph spell before being defeated – the wizard is unable to communicate with their allies, and only has three spells they can use: feather fall, suggestion, and hold portal. The Order continue down an underground tunnel and into the cave where the starmetal lies, but are attacked by a black dragon. Learning that the dragon understands them, Vaarsuvius begins repeatedly casting suggestion on the dragon in the hopes that it will eventually fail a Will save. The dragon eats Haley, but Vaarsuvius manages to hypnotize it into obeying him just in time, getting the dragon to spit Haley out.
After Haley is healed, the hypnotized dragon forces the Order to rest in its lair until the next dawn, when Durkon can prepare and cast dispel curse to return Vaarsuvius to normal. Shortly afterwards, V kills the dragon with disintegrate, and the Order manage to reach its hoard through a hidden underwater passage, which includes a palm-sized lump of starmetal. Meanwhile, the mysterious assassin tracks the Order through the forest, encountering Samantha and her father – the assassin frees them, but promptly kills both after Samantha arrogantly attempts to enslave them.
As the Order place the dragon’s hoard in carts and prepare to take their treasure back to town, they are confronted by the assassin, who declares that they have been sentenced to death. Durkon refuses to fight back as he believes an ongoing thunderstorm is a signal from Thor to stand down, while the assassin ensnares Vaarsuvius with a bag of adhesive and Haley cannot concentrate well enough to shoot straight. Belkar is grappled by the assassin’s horse, Windstriker, while Roy is badly injured in a one-on-one duel. Haley and Roy manage to land a double attack, revealing their assassin to be a female paladin, but are overpowered.
The assassin attempts to finish Roy with smite evil, but realizes that it has no effect on him. Durkon figures out that the paladin believed they were villains, and the paladin explains that when she cast detect evil, Roy registered as an Evil creature since he was in possession of Xykon’s crown (having kept it as a trophy). With Belkar using a lead sheet to protect himself, the paladin scans the rest of the Order and apologizes for her actions, having mistaken their deeds for those done by the Linear Guild. Introducing herself as Miko Miyazaki, she explains that the Order have been declared criminals by Lord Shojo, ruler of the nearby Azure City, for destroying the interdimensional gate in the Dungeon of Dorukan and apparently weakening the fabric of the universe.
Roy convinces the rest of the Order to surrender and go along with Miko, and they begin their journey to Azure City. Along the way, it becomes apparent that Miko is a stereotypical Holier than Thou paladin, who plays dirty and shows little compassion for others while following her oath to the letter. After being sidetracked by a poor woman who requests they save her husband from a tribe of ogres, the group take shelter in an inn for the night, with Miko grudgingly accompanying them.
The Order learn that the inn is located in the nation of Somewhere, and that the King is staying for a night on his way to a peace conference – however, due to a misunderstanding, Roy is mistaken for said King and taken to the upper-class suite. The Order relax in luxury, but are attacked by assassins sent to murder the King (who mistake Roy for their target). Elan had stupidly sent everyone’s equipment to be repaired, leaving the Order defenceless, so he and Roy take shelter in a supply closet. Elan suggests that Roy use the Belt of Gender Changing to disguise himself, which he does reluctantly after Elan is struck by poisoned shuriken.
Roy and Elan reunite with Haley and Durkon, treating the bard’s poison and forming a plan to alert Miko and evacuate the inn, since the assassins are armed with explosives. The Order chase the assassins outside as they threaten to detonate the explosives – Roy manages to talk them down, but Belkar pulls a surprise attack and accidentally sets the charges off anyway, causing an enormous explosion that sets the inn on fire. Haley attempts to evacuate as much of her treasure as possible, but the inn collapses before she can make return trips, causing her to freak out so badly she becomes incapable of coherent speech.
The real King of Somewhere expresses gratitude for the Order saving his life and agrees to pay for the inn’s reparations, while Roy has the Belt of Gender Changing removed by Durkon. However, he becomes sick of Miko lecturing them and calls her out for her attitude, rallying the Order against the paladin in a bid to earn their freedom. While they put up a good fight, Miko and Windstriker defeat them again, and the Order arrive at Azure City in chains. Meanwhile, Nale, Sabine, and Thog manage to recruit half-elf wizard Pompey for the Linear Guild – learning that Roy’s sister Julia lives in the same magic school as him, they kidnap her to use as blackmail.
In Azure City, the Order wait for their trial in prison, with Belkar being assigned a separate cell. However, Belkar manages to kill his guard and escape, while the rest of the Order are sent to their trial – Miko goes off on her own to hunt Belkar, while Shojo’s nephew Hinjo escorts the others. The Order find that the trial is a Kangaroo Court, with Lord Shojo a senile old man who listens to his pet cat Mr. Scruffy, and a being of pure Lawful Good from the Upper Planes is overseeing the trial. Fortunately, the Order do get a lawyer to defend them – Celia, the sylph they rescued from the Dungeon of Dorukan.
The Order find that the prosecution only consists of various witnesses confirming that they destroyed the Dungeon of Dorukan, and call out Shojo for unfair charges. In response, the Lord elaborates on the lore of their world – there are four main pantheons worshipped by each corner of the world; the Northern gods (Norse pantheon), the West gods (Babylonian pantheon), the East gods (Greek pantheon), and the Twelve Gods of the South (Chinese Zodiac animals). The four pantheons created the world, but disagreed on how it should be made, and tugged on the threads of reality against each other in an attempt to have their way.
The result was the creation of the Snarl, a malevolent Eldritch Abomination made of pure chaos. It slaughtered the East gods and destroyed the entire world, with the survivors fleeing to the Astral Planes – they managed to form an agreement on how their world would be made, and built the present world around the Snarl, sealing it away. However, there were five rifts in reality where the Snarl could reach out from its prison and alter the surrounding world. After the Azure City paladin Soon Kim’s wife was slain by one such rift, he formed the Order of the Scribble alongside five other adventurers: elf druid Lirian, dragonblood illusionist Girard Draketooth, human wizard Dorukan, halfling rogue Serini Toormuck, and dwarf barbarian Kraagor.
The Order of the Scribble were able to seal each of the five rifts and secure the world from the Snarl's wrath, although at the cost of Kraagor’s life. They agreed to keep the rifts secret and protected by building elaborate Gates around each one, keeping them contained, but disagreed over how the Gates should be protected. The resulting fallout between them completely destroyed the already fraying group, and they each agreed to permanently part ways while retiring from adventuring and spending the rest of their lives guarding one Gate each, with nobody allowed to visit each other for any reason.
Each member constructed their own defences. Dorukan, who believed in the power of the arcane, fortified his Gate with the strongest sigils he could imagine; Lirian, who believed in the power of nature, enlisted all the creatures of the local forest to guard her Gate; Girard, who believed in the power of deception, guarded his desert Gate with various illusion spells; Serini, who didn't want to retire, turned her Gate into a memorial for Kraagor, and reflecting his belief in the power of physical might, filled it with powerful monsters; and finally, Soon Kim, who believed in the power of paladin honour, formed a guild of paladins known as the Sapphire Guard, serving as Azure City’s secret police and guardians of his Gate.
Shojo elaborates that by destroying Dorukan’s Gate, the Order have inadvertently brought the Snarl closer to escaping from its prison and undoing the world for a second time. Vaarsuvius is furious and demands why a self-destruct rune would be present on Dorukan’s Gate, to which Shojo explains that the Gates are also guarded against Evil creatures who seek to channel the Snarl’s power and exploit it for their own personal gain. Celia uses this story to her advantage, stating that the Order had no idea of the Snarl’s existence and are undoubtedly Good adventurers who were attempting to slay a lich, and activated the self-destruct rune to prevent said lich's remaining minions from using Dorukan's Gate. It works, with the Order being declared not guilty.
Just as the trial wraps up, however, Belkar and Miko crash through the window, the former badly wounded from their fight. Belkar successfully goads Miko into attempting to kill him, but Vaarsuvius saves him before she can deliver the killing blow. Shojo talks Miko down, declaring that the halfling will be punished by the law for his own actions and convincing her to retire to her chambers – Miko does so reluctantly, still convinced that the Order is Evil and vowing revenge on them.
As the Order are escorted out to book an inn for the evening, Shojo has a private meeting with Roy and Haley in his chambers, revealing that he fakes his senility to protect himself from political assassinations – ironically, he is actually Chaotic Good, and not even a paladin. The celestial overseeing their trial is revealed to be Eugene in disguise, who helped Shojo rig the trial so the Order would win. He reveals to them that Lirian’s Gate had been destroyed in a forest fire several years ago, so with only three Gates remaining, he felt he needed to take action. However, the other paladins are bound by their oaths and would not investigate the remaining Gates without concrete evidence that they were in danger, so he went out of his way to recruit the Order for him. Eugene also reveals that Xykon is still alive.
Roy is angry with how both Eugene and Shojo manipulated him and the Order, but grudgingly agrees to do so and stop Xykon from harnessing the Snarl’s power. The next morning, Roy explains everything to his allies. He also adds that the contracts binding everyone to the Order have been torn up, making it their choice whether they want to help him, and that he negotiated with Shojo to grant each of them one favour. Belkar will be brought to trial for murdering his guard after Xykon has been defeated, so until then, he is free to roam Azure City in a disguise. However, Roy warns the halfling that he has had a Mark of Justice placed on him until he can be charged for his murder – if Belkar strays more than a mile from Roy, kills someone inside a town or settlement, or if Roy says the activation phrase, the halfling will be cursed and become horribly ill.
With that, the Order goes off to fulfil their favours: Haley will be examined by clerics to have her voice recovered, V has access to Shojo’s private library, Durkon is allowed to send a letter to his homeland requesting to return home once the campaign is over, Elan gets a gift certificate, and Roy has his ancestral sword repaired, with the additional side effect of the blade gaining additional power against the undead. The Order have a long journey ahead of them, but for now, things are looking okay. Unbeknownst to the Order, however, Miko prays to the Twelve Gods for divine vengeance upon the Order, and the Linear Guild have begun a murder spree…
Roy manipulates the Order into joining him in searching for the starmetal, and they take horses into the Wooden Forest. Unbeknownst to them, however, the blacksmith was actually Sabine in disguise, who used the starmetal as a Snipe Hunt to sidetrack the Order while the Linear Guild regroup and recruit new members to replace Hilgya, Zz'ditri, and Yikyik. Inside the forest, after Roy fashions a greatclub from a stout tree branch, the Order are attacked by a group of bandits, which they easily defeat. However, they come under attack from archers, and Elan is captured by the bandits in the heat of battle.
The Order decide to rescue Elan, but Roy decides to leave him to his fate, viewing Elan as too incompetent to help them anymore. The rest of the Order go to save Elan without Roy, but are defeated and captured as well, with the exception of Durkon (who flees due to being scared of trees). Haley manages to befriend one of the bandits, a grey-haired old man, after they discuss the economic viability of being bandits, and learns that he used to be the leader of the group. The bandits were once Merry Men-esque thieves who only stole from the rich and universally despised, but the leader was since overthrown by his daughter, bratty teenage sorcerer Samantha, who is selfish and hedonistic.
The Order find Elan and Samantha making love in a tent, which disgusts everyone – however, Elan mindlessly states that it’s his job as a bard to seduce opposition, prompting the bandits to turn against Haley and take the Order prisoner once again. Haley attempts to challenge Samantha for leadership of the bandits, but is defeated. Meanwhile, Roy realizes his mistake and goes back to save his allies alongside Durkon – as Haley, Elan, V, and Belkar are being hung, the two attack, slaughtering several of the bandits and freeing their allies. Samantha successfully defeats the Order, but she uses up most of her HP and spell slots in the process, enabling her father to knock her out and reclaim leadership of the bandits.
Durkon accidentally becomes leader of the bandits after casting Thor’s lightning on a tree he perceives to be attacking them, knocking out Samantha’s father in the process. He heals the rest of the Order, gets them resupplied, and disbands the bandit group, leaving Samantha and her father tied up in the woods. Haley bluffs to Elan and convinced him that Roy didn’t really abandon him, and the Order continue on their journey. Meanwhile, an assassin clad in azure blue searches the town, learning of stories about the Order from other civilians. However, they are worded in such a way (or mixed up with stories of the Linear Guild) that the assassin comes to believe that the Order are a band of Evil adventurers, and vows to kill them.
As they continue on their journey, the Order encounter a green hag, who transforms Vaarsuvius into a lizard using a baleful polymorph spell before being defeated – the wizard is unable to communicate with their allies, and only has three spells they can use: feather fall, suggestion, and hold portal. The Order continue down an underground tunnel and into the cave where the starmetal lies, but are attacked by a black dragon. Learning that the dragon understands them, Vaarsuvius begins repeatedly casting suggestion on the dragon in the hopes that it will eventually fail a Will save. The dragon eats Haley, but Vaarsuvius manages to hypnotize it into obeying him just in time, getting the dragon to spit Haley out.
After Haley is healed, the hypnotized dragon forces the Order to rest in its lair until the next dawn, when Durkon can prepare and cast dispel curse to return Vaarsuvius to normal. Shortly afterwards, V kills the dragon with disintegrate, and the Order manage to reach its hoard through a hidden underwater passage, which includes a palm-sized lump of starmetal. Meanwhile, the mysterious assassin tracks the Order through the forest, encountering Samantha and her father – the assassin frees them, but promptly kills both after Samantha arrogantly attempts to enslave them.
As the Order place the dragon’s hoard in carts and prepare to take their treasure back to town, they are confronted by the assassin, who declares that they have been sentenced to death. Durkon refuses to fight back as he believes an ongoing thunderstorm is a signal from Thor to stand down, while the assassin ensnares Vaarsuvius with a bag of adhesive and Haley cannot concentrate well enough to shoot straight. Belkar is grappled by the assassin’s horse, Windstriker, while Roy is badly injured in a one-on-one duel. Haley and Roy manage to land a double attack, revealing their assassin to be a female paladin, but are overpowered.
The assassin attempts to finish Roy with smite evil, but realizes that it has no effect on him. Durkon figures out that the paladin believed they were villains, and the paladin explains that when she cast detect evil, Roy registered as an Evil creature since he was in possession of Xykon’s crown (having kept it as a trophy). With Belkar using a lead sheet to protect himself, the paladin scans the rest of the Order and apologizes for her actions, having mistaken their deeds for those done by the Linear Guild. Introducing herself as Miko Miyazaki, she explains that the Order have been declared criminals by Lord Shojo, ruler of the nearby Azure City, for destroying the interdimensional gate in the Dungeon of Dorukan and apparently weakening the fabric of the universe.
Roy convinces the rest of the Order to surrender and go along with Miko, and they begin their journey to Azure City. Along the way, it becomes apparent that Miko is a stereotypical Holier than Thou paladin, who plays dirty and shows little compassion for others while following her oath to the letter. After being sidetracked by a poor woman who requests they save her husband from a tribe of ogres, the group take shelter in an inn for the night, with Miko grudgingly accompanying them.
The Order learn that the inn is located in the nation of Somewhere, and that the King is staying for a night on his way to a peace conference – however, due to a misunderstanding, Roy is mistaken for said King and taken to the upper-class suite. The Order relax in luxury, but are attacked by assassins sent to murder the King (who mistake Roy for their target). Elan had stupidly sent everyone’s equipment to be repaired, leaving the Order defenceless, so he and Roy take shelter in a supply closet. Elan suggests that Roy use the Belt of Gender Changing to disguise himself, which he does reluctantly after Elan is struck by poisoned shuriken.
Roy and Elan reunite with Haley and Durkon, treating the bard’s poison and forming a plan to alert Miko and evacuate the inn, since the assassins are armed with explosives. The Order chase the assassins outside as they threaten to detonate the explosives – Roy manages to talk them down, but Belkar pulls a surprise attack and accidentally sets the charges off anyway, causing an enormous explosion that sets the inn on fire. Haley attempts to evacuate as much of her treasure as possible, but the inn collapses before she can make return trips, causing her to freak out so badly she becomes incapable of coherent speech.
The real King of Somewhere expresses gratitude for the Order saving his life and agrees to pay for the inn’s reparations, while Roy has the Belt of Gender Changing removed by Durkon. However, he becomes sick of Miko lecturing them and calls her out for her attitude, rallying the Order against the paladin in a bid to earn their freedom. While they put up a good fight, Miko and Windstriker defeat them again, and the Order arrive at Azure City in chains. Meanwhile, Nale, Sabine, and Thog manage to recruit half-elf wizard Pompey for the Linear Guild – learning that Roy’s sister Julia lives in the same magic school as him, they kidnap her to use as blackmail.
In Azure City, the Order wait for their trial in prison, with Belkar being assigned a separate cell. However, Belkar manages to kill his guard and escape, while the rest of the Order are sent to their trial – Miko goes off on her own to hunt Belkar, while Shojo’s nephew Hinjo escorts the others. The Order find that the trial is a Kangaroo Court, with Lord Shojo a senile old man who listens to his pet cat Mr. Scruffy, and a being of pure Lawful Good from the Upper Planes is overseeing the trial. Fortunately, the Order do get a lawyer to defend them – Celia, the sylph they rescued from the Dungeon of Dorukan.
The Order find that the prosecution only consists of various witnesses confirming that they destroyed the Dungeon of Dorukan, and call out Shojo for unfair charges. In response, the Lord elaborates on the lore of their world – there are four main pantheons worshipped by each corner of the world; the Northern gods (Norse pantheon), the West gods (Babylonian pantheon), the East gods (Greek pantheon), and the Twelve Gods of the South (Chinese Zodiac animals). The four pantheons created the world, but disagreed on how it should be made, and tugged on the threads of reality against each other in an attempt to have their way.
The result was the creation of the Snarl, a malevolent Eldritch Abomination made of pure chaos. It slaughtered the East gods and destroyed the entire world, with the survivors fleeing to the Astral Planes – they managed to form an agreement on how their world would be made, and built the present world around the Snarl, sealing it away. However, there were five rifts in reality where the Snarl could reach out from its prison and alter the surrounding world. After the Azure City paladin Soon Kim’s wife was slain by one such rift, he formed the Order of the Scribble alongside five other adventurers: elf druid Lirian, dragonblood illusionist Girard Draketooth, human wizard Dorukan, halfling rogue Serini Toormuck, and dwarf barbarian Kraagor.
The Order of the Scribble were able to seal each of the five rifts and secure the world from the Snarl's wrath, although at the cost of Kraagor’s life. They agreed to keep the rifts secret and protected by building elaborate Gates around each one, keeping them contained, but disagreed over how the Gates should be protected. The resulting fallout between them completely destroyed the already fraying group, and they each agreed to permanently part ways while retiring from adventuring and spending the rest of their lives guarding one Gate each, with nobody allowed to visit each other for any reason.
Each member constructed their own defences. Dorukan, who believed in the power of the arcane, fortified his Gate with the strongest sigils he could imagine; Lirian, who believed in the power of nature, enlisted all the creatures of the local forest to guard her Gate; Girard, who believed in the power of deception, guarded his desert Gate with various illusion spells; Serini, who didn't want to retire, turned her Gate into a memorial for Kraagor, and reflecting his belief in the power of physical might, filled it with powerful monsters; and finally, Soon Kim, who believed in the power of paladin honour, formed a guild of paladins known as the Sapphire Guard, serving as Azure City’s secret police and guardians of his Gate.
Shojo elaborates that by destroying Dorukan’s Gate, the Order have inadvertently brought the Snarl closer to escaping from its prison and undoing the world for a second time. Vaarsuvius is furious and demands why a self-destruct rune would be present on Dorukan’s Gate, to which Shojo explains that the Gates are also guarded against Evil creatures who seek to channel the Snarl’s power and exploit it for their own personal gain. Celia uses this story to her advantage, stating that the Order had no idea of the Snarl’s existence and are undoubtedly Good adventurers who were attempting to slay a lich, and activated the self-destruct rune to prevent said lich's remaining minions from using Dorukan's Gate. It works, with the Order being declared not guilty.
Just as the trial wraps up, however, Belkar and Miko crash through the window, the former badly wounded from their fight. Belkar successfully goads Miko into attempting to kill him, but Vaarsuvius saves him before she can deliver the killing blow. Shojo talks Miko down, declaring that the halfling will be punished by the law for his own actions and convincing her to retire to her chambers – Miko does so reluctantly, still convinced that the Order is Evil and vowing revenge on them.
As the Order are escorted out to book an inn for the evening, Shojo has a private meeting with Roy and Haley in his chambers, revealing that he fakes his senility to protect himself from political assassinations – ironically, he is actually Chaotic Good, and not even a paladin. The celestial overseeing their trial is revealed to be Eugene in disguise, who helped Shojo rig the trial so the Order would win. He reveals to them that Lirian’s Gate had been destroyed in a forest fire several years ago, so with only three Gates remaining, he felt he needed to take action. However, the other paladins are bound by their oaths and would not investigate the remaining Gates without concrete evidence that they were in danger, so he went out of his way to recruit the Order for him. Eugene also reveals that Xykon is still alive.
Roy is angry with how both Eugene and Shojo manipulated him and the Order, but grudgingly agrees to do so and stop Xykon from harnessing the Snarl’s power. The next morning, Roy explains everything to his allies. He also adds that the contracts binding everyone to the Order have been torn up, making it their choice whether they want to help him, and that he negotiated with Shojo to grant each of them one favour. Belkar will be brought to trial for murdering his guard after Xykon has been defeated, so until then, he is free to roam Azure City in a disguise. However, Roy warns the halfling that he has had a Mark of Justice placed on him until he can be charged for his murder – if Belkar strays more than a mile from Roy, kills someone inside a town or settlement, or if Roy says the activation phrase, the halfling will be cursed and become horribly ill.
With that, the Order goes off to fulfil their favours: Haley will be examined by clerics to have her voice recovered, V has access to Shojo’s private library, Durkon is allowed to send a letter to his homeland requesting to return home once the campaign is over, Elan gets a gift certificate, and Roy has his ancestral sword repaired, with the additional side effect of the blade gaining additional power against the undead. The Order have a long journey ahead of them, but for now, things are looking okay. Unbeknownst to the Order, however, Miko prays to the Twelve Gods for divine vengeance upon the Order, and the Linear Guild have begun a murder spree…
Team Evil
Following their escape from the Dungeon of Dorukan, Redcloak, the Monster in the Darkness, and a slowly regenerating Xykon emerge from their secret passage into the Southern Mountains. They find that the valley they are in is inhabited by a clan of hobgoblins, whom Xykon eagerly decides to recruit as his new minions, especially after Redcloak (who dislikes hobgoblins due to a traditional rivalry between the different goblinoids), goes on about their martial culture and eagerness for battle.
Redcloak reluctantly takes part in a humiliating series of trials and initiations to become part of the hobgoblin clan as a prelude to recruiting them to serve Xykon, but when he learns that an alternative to going through this is to defeat the leader of the hobgoblins in battle, he immediately kills the cleric in charge of the initiation rituals and takes over the clan. (Unknown to Redcloak that cleric wasn't actually the leader of the hobgoblin clan, but the actual leader is intimidated by Redcloak’s power and, knowing he'd stand no chance against Redcloak, claims that the dead cleric was the leader when Xykon thinks to double-check). While Redcloak is unhappy about leading a group of hobgoblins due to their old rivalries and bad blood, Xykon assures him that they are loyal minions nonetheless. Team Evil resolve to return to Xykon’s tower at the southern end of the valley, but the path is highly dangerous and the tower has since been taken over by various Good-aligned monsters.
After dealing with the dangers of the path by sacrificing a number of hobgoblin mooks, Xykon’s body regenerates, and Team Evil manage to slaughter all of the monsters and turn them into undead, including a silver dragon that Xykon takes as a mount. They search the library and find the book that was the main reason Xykon insisted on returning to the tower: an autobiography of Serini Toormuck, a halfling rogue and member of a legendary group of adventurers, the Order of the Scribble, alongside human paladin Soon Kim, elf druid Lirian (who was killed by Xykon years ago), dragonblood illusionist Girard Draketooth, human wizard Dorukan (who had recently been slain by Xykon and whose stronghold Team Evil had been inhabiting in the previous arc), and dwarf barbarian Kraagor.
Xykon explains that there are five dimensional Gates – each member of the Order of the Scribble built a stronghold to guard each one, with the exception of Serini, who encoded the locations of each Gate in her diary. It was thanks to this book that Team Evil had learned the location of Dorukan’s Gate, after Redcloak had accidentally destroyed Lirian’s Gate in a forest fire. With Dorukan’s Gate destroyed by the Order of the Stick, they set about trying to decipher the location of other Gates from Serini's book.
As Xykon continues decoding the diary, Redcloak discovers that he became the leader of not one, but eighty-eight legions of hobgoblins, enough to form a large army. Once Team Evil’s preparations are in place and Serini's biography has been fully decoded and the location of all the remaining Gates is confirmed, Redcloak suggests they attack Azure City, where Soon Kim’s Gate is located, since it is the most easily accessible, and the villains set off to take the city, setting up for a second battle with the Order...
Redcloak reluctantly takes part in a humiliating series of trials and initiations to become part of the hobgoblin clan as a prelude to recruiting them to serve Xykon, but when he learns that an alternative to going through this is to defeat the leader of the hobgoblins in battle, he immediately kills the cleric in charge of the initiation rituals and takes over the clan. (Unknown to Redcloak that cleric wasn't actually the leader of the hobgoblin clan, but the actual leader is intimidated by Redcloak’s power and, knowing he'd stand no chance against Redcloak, claims that the dead cleric was the leader when Xykon thinks to double-check). While Redcloak is unhappy about leading a group of hobgoblins due to their old rivalries and bad blood, Xykon assures him that they are loyal minions nonetheless. Team Evil resolve to return to Xykon’s tower at the southern end of the valley, but the path is highly dangerous and the tower has since been taken over by various Good-aligned monsters.
After dealing with the dangers of the path by sacrificing a number of hobgoblin mooks, Xykon’s body regenerates, and Team Evil manage to slaughter all of the monsters and turn them into undead, including a silver dragon that Xykon takes as a mount. They search the library and find the book that was the main reason Xykon insisted on returning to the tower: an autobiography of Serini Toormuck, a halfling rogue and member of a legendary group of adventurers, the Order of the Scribble, alongside human paladin Soon Kim, elf druid Lirian (who was killed by Xykon years ago), dragonblood illusionist Girard Draketooth, human wizard Dorukan (who had recently been slain by Xykon and whose stronghold Team Evil had been inhabiting in the previous arc), and dwarf barbarian Kraagor.
Xykon explains that there are five dimensional Gates – each member of the Order of the Scribble built a stronghold to guard each one, with the exception of Serini, who encoded the locations of each Gate in her diary. It was thanks to this book that Team Evil had learned the location of Dorukan’s Gate, after Redcloak had accidentally destroyed Lirian’s Gate in a forest fire. With Dorukan’s Gate destroyed by the Order of the Stick, they set about trying to decipher the location of other Gates from Serini's book.
As Xykon continues decoding the diary, Redcloak discovers that he became the leader of not one, but eighty-eight legions of hobgoblins, enough to form a large army. Once Team Evil’s preparations are in place and Serini's biography has been fully decoded and the location of all the remaining Gates is confirmed, Redcloak suggests they attack Azure City, where Soon Kim’s Gate is located, since it is the most easily accessible, and the villains set off to take the city, setting up for a second battle with the Order...
Tropes in No Cure for the Paladin Blues include:
- ...And That Would Be Wrong: When Belkar almost wins over Haley to the idea of selling Samantha into slavery. A stern look from Roy makes Haley cap off her reaction with this trope.Haley: Ummm... no, I don't think so, Belkar. She may be a dirty evil whore, but no one deserves that.
Belkar: Are you sure? Seriously, you wouldn't believe the profit margins involved.
Haley: Really? Well, I suppose it's not that bad to— [off Roy's look] Um, I mean, no way. Nuh uh. No slavery, Belkar. - Animated Actors: After Shojo's Infodump flashback, the scene cuts back to the trial, where the Order are shown to have been taking a break, as if someone forgot to tell them to get back into character. Sitting in director's chairs, Roy is reading a newspaper, Elan is playing with a yo-yo, Haley has disappeared, and Vaarsuvius is trancing.Celia: Psst! Flashback's over.
Roy: Oh geez!
Elan: Aren't we supposed to get a 2-panel warning?*
Haley: [rushing in wearing a towel, her hair still wet] Zfq bq nzml??Cryptogram
Vaarsuvius: That is it, when this story arc is over, I shall be calling my agent. - Annoying Arrows: While mass fire from the bandits poses a theoretical danger when they're out of melee range, and Haley manages to hurt the dragon with an arrow to the eye, in general archers are stuck playing this straight for the entirety of this arc.
- Art Evolution: Lampshaded, of course. When the author was forced to take a break due to a wrist injury, he took the opportunity to upgrade the character models. Elan tries to pass it off as loot from the dragon hoard.Elan: But at least [Roy] got some snazzy new boots, and I got this clasp for my cloak!
Haley: [whispering] Pssst! Elan, it's an art upgrade, we're supposed to pretend we were always drawn this way. - Attention-Deficit Disciple: In "The Lawyers Strike Back", the Order is on trial. One of the two lawyers for the prosecution is immediately distracted by the presence of a cat.Lord Shojo: Mr. Scruffy thought you boys weren't going to make it.
Mr. Jones: You can assure your feline that your court date was never in real jeopardy.
Mr. Rodriguez: Ohmygod!!! You have a kitty!!!
Vaarsuvius: This is a troubling development. I was already concerned about our actual ability to eloquently present our defense before this court of law...
Vaarsuvius: But now we must defend ourselves against two highly-skilled legal professionals—
Mr. Rodriguez: Kitty kitty! Hello, kitty kitty! Hello!
Vaarsuvius: —ONE highly-skilled legal professional and one man in a very expensive suit. - Avenging the Villain: Samantha's dad tries to do this, but Miko is far too powerful for him and easily dispatches him.
- The Beastmaster: With his sword broken, finding himself far less effective when armed with a club, Roy tries to use various critters summoned from his Bag of Tricks in this manner. It almost always blows up in his face.
- Broken Pedestal: Haley stops Roy from becoming one for Elan by covering up why Roy didn't try to help out in the first rescue attempt.
- Calling the Old Man Out: After learning that his father Eugene and Shojo have been working together to orchestrate the Order's forced arrival to Azure City, Roy immediately calls them out for their manipulative ways. He makes it explicitly clear that if it wasn't for Xykon being too dangerous to be left alone, he wouldn't lift a finger to help either of them.Roy: I would love to say that I couldn't believe that my own father would mess with my life like this, to the point of getting me imprisoned and nearly killed- but I know better. You're exactly selfish enough to do this to your own son, just to quench your thirst for vengeance.
- Cerebus Syndrome: Begins setting in for the first time during this arc, and is of course lampshaded, complete with a small Shout-Out to the Trope Namer.Haley: [after an explosion sets the inn on fire] Geez! We were a lot safer when we just made fairly obvious jokes about the rules!
Vaarsuvius: I blame Cerebus. - Challenging the Chief: Done multiple times.
- The bandit clan allows this, and Samantha winning such a fight is why she's chief now, and not her dad. Haley tries to challenge Samantha, and is squashed.
- Samantha's dad waits until Samantha's spells are depleted and she's exhausted and injured from fighting the Order before challenging her. He then frees Durkon (Roy had tied Durkon up to get him to stop ranting about the evil trees in the forest) and Durkon uses a spell on a nearby tree, which collapses right on Samantha's dad, which leads to the rest of the clan assuming that this was his intent.
- Meanwhile, Redcloak does this with the Hobgoblins—but he gets the wrong guy. It's a moot point, though, because the actual chief realizes that Redcloak would effortlessly kill him, and thus decides to hand over leadership.
- Changed My Mind, Kid: Roy is willing to let Elan be taken by the bandits, but after thinking about it, realizes how wrong that was and goes to the rescue.
- Character Development: Both the Order and Team Evil start getting their first proper development in this arc. Redcloak goes from being Xykon's bland Number Two to a wryly sardonic sidekick, and takes the first steps towards becoming arguably the most complex character in the comic. And the arcs the Order go through give the audience the first chance to see what makes them tick as people.
- Chekhov's Gun:
- The Belt of Masculinity/Femininity picked up by Elan in the last dungeon is used—by Roy, to his chagrin.
- V notes that the dragon the Order kills appears to be awfully young. The dragon's mother would later play a role in the comics.
- Both Haley's father and the people holding him will come up again later.
- Everything done by Nale and the Guild is setting up for a future story arc.
- Miko's "attack first and ask questions later" attitude and Knight Templar ways will play a large role in the next book.
- Team Evil recruiting the hobgoblin army makes them a viable threat to Azure City, which at the end of the book has just effectively become the Order's base of operations.
- The Chessmaster: Shojo establishes himself as one after the trial.
- Combat Sadomasochist: The MITD is mistaken for one of these when he begs some light/energy beings to attack him and eliminate the darkness around him.
- Diabolus ex Machina: In bonus strips, Redcloak and Xykon are no match for a silver dragon inside their tower and are about to be finished off—and then a mook scores a critical hit from offscreen and kills the dragon in one shot.
- Dual Wielding: Samantha's dad prefers dual wielding swords and is effective with them. Miko also loves using her katana and wakizashi in tandem. Low-level bandits attempting to fire multiple arrows at once, or in rapid succession, by contrast, is shown to be horribly ineffective.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Parodied when Nale declines to use Céline Dion music as a form of torture because "I'm still civilized."
- Evil Is Petty: Samantha, big time. She's entirely about satisfying her own petty urges, as seen by how she has a small army of bandits, an experienced and capable melee fighter in her father, and her own magical abilities—and uses it all to hide out in the woods and kidnap potential boyfriends.
- Exact Words: When out in the Southern Mountains, the Monster in the Darkness grumbles about having to wear the umbrella. Redcloak tells him to quit grumbling, so the Monster switches to mumbling instead.Redcloak: Better.
- Female Misogynist: This arc continues a pattern that started in The Order of the Stick: Dungeon Crawlin' Fools of Haley being one of these. She immediately despises both Samantha and Miko, much as she did Sabine, and would continue afterward with Tsukiko and, to a lesser extent, Celia. Only long, long afterward did author Rich Burlew realize the Unfortunate Implications and go out of his way to show Haley becoming fast friends with another woman (Bandana) in order to subvert this, complete with Leaning on the Fourth Wall dialog in the comic and strip titles about it.
- Forced Transformation: Vaarsuvius is turned into a lizard, but it only sticks for about 10 strips. The experience sticks with V, though, especially the fact that most of their vaunted spells require humanoid hands and a voice to cast.
- Foreshadowing: Durkon warns the bandits that one of these days they'll pick on a high-level fighter who will wipe the floor with them. This convinces most of them to quit, but Samantha and her father are left behind. When Miko comes along, Samantha unwisely picks a fight with her.
- The Fundamentalist: Miko soon proves herself to be this, and it goes even further when she returns to Azure City and it's shown that even other paladins don't care for her zealous ways.
- Genre Blind: The hobgoblins mooks that get sacrificed to take back Xykon's tower. Especially the one who proclaims that he has a good feeling about being sent to be fight a guardian monster that falls asleep after eating, after having just been bathed in honey mustard sauce, while being armed with a cracker and garnish. (And, if they choose, fresh pepper.)
- Grows on Trees: While in the forest, Roy is forced to use a non-magical greatclub due to lack of alternatives. In a print-only bonus strip, he complains that "swords don't grow on trees" (unlike the club, which is just a stout branch he tore off a trunk). Naturally, the last panel of the page shows the group narrowly missing an encounter with "the world famous sword-growing tree."
- Guile Hero: Haley and Shojo.
- Honor Before Reason: Subverted. When the Order and Miko take on some ogres, Miko pretends to be doing this just to kill the leader and then leave all the others in a tight group, easy pickings for V and Durkon.
- Infallible Babble: Played with. A shapeshifted Sabine tells Roy that he must repair his sword using starmetal and suggests he search for a meteorite that was supposed to have fallen in the nearby (and dangerous) woods long ago. A later comic shows that this was a plan of Nale's, designed to either get the Order killed in the woods or at least diverted and out of the way of the Linear Guild while they replenish members and plan their next move. For bonus points, Nale believes that the attempt to find the starmetal will be a Snipe Hunt for the Order, since even if the rumor about the starmetal is true, the story is so old that he assumes that some other adventurer has found it by now. Little does Nale know that not only is the starmetal real, there's a very good reason why it hasn't been claimed; it's part of a dragon hoard. When Roy actually finds the starmetal, however, he's disappointed, as it's a tiny amount that fits in the palm of his hand, making him think that the whole quest was for nothing, since he's under the mistaken belief that his whole sword needs to be forged of starmetal. However it turns out that this is a great bounty of starmetal, considering how rare starmetal is, and that it's more than enough to upgrade Roy's sword to a magic sword when it's mixed with normal metal during the forging process.
- Infodump: One that is so long that the Order is caught unawares when it ends, and have to get back into character, as if they are actors caught unprepared when the cameras start rolling.
- Instantly Proven Wrong: When initially considering helping the dirt farmers, Roy expects he'll have to talk the more amoral members of the party into taking part. As it turns out, Haley immediately offers to help, and Belkar is just happy to kill ogres. As Roy express relief that he doesn't have to wrestle with the party, V immediately walks over demanding to know why they're wasting their time here.
- In the Dreaming Stage of Grief: Elan's response to a black dragon pinning him to the ground with his claws and breathing a cone of acid at the rest of the party is to mumble to himself "Gonna wake up any second now."
- Kangaroo Court: The Order's trial is one of these, but not in the way they expected it to be.
- Karmic Thieves: According to several of the bandits the clan used to be this, with a Just Like Robin Hood operation of stealing only from the rich and universally despised (cue a panel that shows them stealing from the lawyers), but that changed when Samantha took over.
- Klingon Promotion: How Redcloak becomes Supreme Leader of the hobgoblins. Subverted in that the hobgoblin he kills wasn't the previous leader, but the real leader isn't about to say anything after seeing how strong Redcloak is.
- Know When to Fold 'Em: Upon seeing how powerful Redcloak is, the Supreme Leader of the hobgoblins wisely chooses not to correct Xykon's assumption that the cleric Redcloak killed with slay living was the actual Supreme Leader.
- Lack of Empathy: Quickly becomes something of a character trait for Miko, established when she kills Samantha right in front of her dad and then asks dad for help in tracking down the Order before he attempts to Avenge the Villain.
- Metaphorically True: How Durkon justifies saying that the group didn't try to escape and that the lock on their cell was defective.Durkon: I can swear on Thor's beard that the five of us never left our cells.
- Four of them had, but Durkon had refused to do so.Durkon: [regarding the lock on the cell door being open] 'Twas a mechanical defect. [aside whisper to Roy] I dunno, I count, "able to be picked by a rogue," as a pretty major defect, aye?
- Mistaken for Special Guest: Roy declares himself "the king of nowhere at all" after a confusing conversation with a bellhop and ends up mistaken for the King of Nowhere as a result.
- Mugging the Monster: Discussed. The Order tells the forest bandits that their methods of robbing adventurers will backfire eventually, as the only marks with sufficient money to profit from will also be strong enough to kill them. This quickly comes true afterward for Samantha and her dad, as Samantha attempts to magically enslave Miko almost the second Miko frees them, and gets sliced to pieces by Miko's blades for it.
- No Name Given: Samantha's dad is never given a proper name, hence why he has to be referred to as Samantha's dad repeatedly throughout this page.
- Obfuscating Insanity: Shojo has been doing this for years just to keep the Decadent Court from assassinating him for any action he takes. He appears to be easily manipulated; anyone who doesn't like one of his decisions blames a rival noble for it, instead of Shojo himself.
- Once More, with Clarity: When Shojo flashes back to Miko declaring her intent on killing the Order for the destruction of Dorukan's Gate (As seen at the end of the first book), it also shows him politely ordering her to instead bring the Order in for trial, to which she reluctantly agrees.
- One Dialogue, Two Conversations: Xykon goes back into his fortress and encounters an archon, who tries to urge him and Redcloak away from evil. Xykon says she's given him a lot to think about. She thinks he's talking about doing a Heel–Face Turn, when in reality he's thinking about the potential she has as a flying zombie when he kills and reanimates her.Archon: This tower is now sanctified to the forces of Light! If you walk the path of Evil, you will find nought but destruction within its walls! But it is not too late, even for one such as you, to seek redemption. Lo! Ask for forgiveness, and ye shall find it.
Xykon: Wow. You know, you've really given me something to think about.
Archon: Really?
Xykon: Yeah! Meeting you has really opened my mind to a whole new way of doing things.
Archon: Fantastic! I am pleased you— [Xykon kills and then reanimates her]
Xykon: Flying zombies! I can't believe I never thought of it before!
Recloak: It will revolutionize the industry. - Politically Incorrect Hero: Roy makes a lot of sexist and belittling comments to Miko when he's attempting to get in her pants. After getting a taste of that himself thanks to the Masculinity/Femininity belt, he stops that, and even apoogizes for it just before unloading his "The Reason You Suck" Speech on Miko.
- Purple Is Powerful: Samantha wears a purple dress, has a purple aura, and is a mid-level sorceress, which makes her fairly formidable, thanks to Linear Warriors, Quadratic Wizards. The black dragon also has purple wings and speech balloons, and would have killed the entire Order if not for V.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Samantha's dad was one as leader of the bandits, and remains reasonable as Number Two. Samantha is definitely not reasonable. Shojo is this in reality, although he has to pretend to be senile and bound by the paladin's oath.
- Releasing from the Promise: Provides the page image. After learning that Xykon is alive, Roy points out to the Order that their contracts state they must work for him until the lich is destroyed. Roy then destroys said contracts, not wanting to be like Shojo and abuse legal authority for his plans.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Roy lays a doozy on Miko.Roy: I wouldn't touch your skinny uptight ass with a standard-issue 10-foot pole, you overbearing self-righteous bitch. [...] You're not Good, at least not any definition of Good I would want to follow. You follow the letter of the alignment description while ignoring the intent. Sure, you fight Evil, but when was the last time you showed a "concern for the dignity of sentient beings"? You're just a mean socially inept bully who hides behind a badge and her Holier than Thou morality as excuses to treat other people like crap.
- Restraining Bolt: Belkar is subjected to a curse known as the Mark of Justice which prevents him from killing in an urban area and straying more than one mile away from Roy, lest he become incredibly ill. This will remain on him for the next book and a half.
- Samus Is a Girl: The Order initially assume their mysterious attacker is a man.
- Shoot the Dangerous Minion: In bonus strips, after the silver dragon leading the Good monsters who had taken over Xykon's tower has Xykon and Redcloak nearly defeated, a random hobgoblin mook scores a critical hit and kills it. He gains so many levels that Xykon immediately kills him because he's too powerful to be a minion anymore.
- Snipe Hunt: The starmetal was meant to be one, only it turned out to be true.
- Spotting the Thread: Haley does this for the verdict of the trial when she realizes that the Order is objectively guilty of the crime they were just found innocent of, and that the mitigating circumstances Celia used to argue their innocence should only have gotten them a lighter sentence at best. With help from Elan’s babbling about how some things are different than they appear, Haley deduces that Shojo rigged the trial and is faking his senility.
- Strike Me Down with All of Your Hatred!: Belkar spends his jailbreak deliberately goading Miko, purposely getting her more and more riled up so that when she finally corners him, she'll kill him in cold blood and the gods will strip her paladin feats. This almost happened, but Vaarsuvius decided she hated Miko more than the halfling and stopped her. Belkar figured Durkon would resurrect him afterwards, so he wasn't pleased at V's interference, but the wizard pointed out that a Raise Dead spell required diamonds as a spell component, which the Order did not have.
- Take That!:
- The wizard's school and "Larry Gardener" is a fairly clear one at Harry Potter.
- Thog proposes using Céline Dion music to torture Elan. Nale turns this down because "I'm still civilised".
- Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: Between the Order and Miko, when they do actually work together.
- Tempting Fate: After their confrontation once the inn burns down, Roy declares the only way Miko will be able to bring them before her liege is if the Order is in chains. Cue the Gilligan Cut...
- Think Nothing of It: Haley of all people does this when they return the kidnapped peasant to his wife, although granted we are talking about peasants and the Order had recently taken the massive treasure hoard from a dragon.Haley: What was I going to do, take a percentage of their dirt? Besides, it was kinda fun, and we got to beat up some ogres.
- Thwarted Coup de Grâce: At the conclusion of Belkar and Miko's fight, Miko is victorious and about to finish Belkar off (with Belkar telling her to do it) when V hits Miko with a spell, distracting her.
- Ungrateful Bastard: A few. Samantha isn't grateful about being rescued, Belkar doesn't appreciate his attempt to cause Miko's fall being interrupted by V (as usual, Belkar hadn't thought things out and didn't account for the fact that the party would be unable — maybe even unwilling — to raise him afterward), and in bonus comics, Xykon kills the mook who saved him and Redcloak from the silver dragon in the tower, because the mook gained so much XP from doing so that it meant Xykon could actually gain XP from killing said mook.
- We Have Reserves: Team Evil makes copious use of this strategy. When Redcloak initially intends to check out a dangerous mountain pass that suffers from frequent rockslides himself, the Monster in the Darkness accidentally clues him in to the idea of sending his new minions instead.MitD: Dude, seriously, I really respect how you're all, "I'm not going to send any hobgoblins to their death on the mountain path, despite the fact that I really don't like them and wish they would go away."
[Beat panel]
Redcloak: Change of plans. Send fifteen—no, twenty—warriors up the mountain path on, uh, scouting duty. Tell them to shout if they don't find anything. - What Happened to the Mouse?: Defied. The GITP forums kept talking about how Samantha and her father could wind up becoming recurring enemies because their final fate wasn't shown, so Burlew did a strip where Miko kills them both in order to definitively wrap up their little subplot.
- Who's on First?: When you have nations that are actually called Somewhere, Nowhere, Anywhere, and Someplace Else, this trope is bound to come up. The strip is titled "Who's on the Throne?"
- Worf Had the Flu: This is Roy's theory as to why Miko was able to defeat the group in their first fight, as circumstances left most of the party unable to fight at full strength, or at all. When they try to fight her agin, under better circumstances, he expects it to turn out better for the Order. Subverted, because while Miko takes more damage from the second bout, she and her mount Windstriker still overpower the Order. (Roy failed to account for the fact that Durkon, their healer and secondary melee fighter, would refuse to fight Miko once again, or that half of Roy's abilities would still be negated because he didn't have a sword to use. Or that Vaarsuvius, who specialized in area-of-effect damage spells, would be nearly useless in a flight with allies and enemies tightly clustered. Despite Gilligan Cutting to after the fight in the strip, the author laid out how it would have gone round-by-round on the forum, to prove that Miko and Windstriker beating the Order by themselves is plausible.)Roy: Stupid railroad plot.
- Your Approval Fills Me with Shame: The Trope Namer comes from this arc. Belkar approves of Roy's plan to leave Samantha and her dad tied up together, forced to work through their issues. Belkar can't think of anything more evil (and perfect) than forcing family members to spend time with each other.