"Miss Pauling, I've been using my own underwear to sponge blood out of puddles. Trust me, the type is the least of your problems."
— The Medic, Team Fortress 2
Heavy: [during open-heart surgery] Should I be awake for this?
Medic: (laughs) Well...no. But as long as you are, could you hold your ribcage open a bit?
Medic: (laughs) Well...no. But as long as you are, could you hold your ribcage open a bit?
— Team Fortress 2, Meet the Medic
"Just stick da bone back in."
"It just needs a stitch or two."
"It just needs a stitch or two."
— Kaptin Bluddflagg's medical advice, Dawn of War II: Retribution
"Right, first I'll take those teef out for yer, dat should help ease da pain in yer leg. Grokkit, hand me dat wrench. Now then... open wide, and say... AAARGH!"
— Dok Gutslash, Warhammer 40,000
"Your physician presented you with a potion of the most peculiar sorts. It had neither odor nor taste and possessed the appearance of liquid silver. The metallic potion was easy enough to ingest and you could not understand why this was the risky treatment option"
"Maybe a cold washcloth will revitalize you. Oh, its not wet enough!"
— Dr Jerry Attriks, Scott The Woz Borderline Forever
Beau: You have a six-pack of donuts in [your bag] but you don't have a healer's kit? And you're the cleric?
Jester: I'm the cleric? I'm THE cleric?! What is this?! I've never traveled with a bunch of people that I thought would DIE in front of me, okay?! I've never needed a healer's kit before!
Beau: (hands Jester her own healer's kit) Well congratulations, you're THE cleric now.
Jester: [...] YES! (Beat) How do I use this though?!
Jester: I'm the cleric? I'm THE cleric?! What is this?! I've never traveled with a bunch of people that I thought would DIE in front of me, okay?! I've never needed a healer's kit before!
Beau: (hands Jester her own healer's kit) Well congratulations, you're THE cleric now.
Jester: [...] YES! (Beat) How do I use this though?!