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Anime & Manga
Jessie: AAAAAAH! James! Why did you set it up to give shocks on both sides?! Turn it off! TURN IT OFF!
James: I didn't think it would matter! It never occurred to me that we could lose!
James: I didn't think it would matter! It never occurred to me that we could lose!
Akane: Head first... at an opponent armed with shears?! You'd better have a plan, Ranma!
Ranma: A plan would have been good...
Ranma: A plan would have been good...
— Ranma ½
Comic Books
In other words, I got bored. Suddenly, I had this brilliant idea. Well, at least it sounded good on paper. I went off to see the Joker in his home away from home at Arkham Asylum. The fact that they'd moved him to the Slab in New York City should've tipped me off that this was not going to go well... but I'm a "never say die" kinda guy, and I pressed on. Now, the Joker had made his career out of making Batman batty. So, I figured, just for laughs, what if I gave him my powers and set him loose on your world. Y'know, see how somebody else would do at my job. Look, I'm not an idiot. I planned on giving him only a little of my power. Like 1%. That's when I learned that just because the Joker's insane doesn't mean he isn't smart. He tricked me into revealing my secret name which every Imp has. And in doing so, he took 99.9% of my power. Okay, so maybe I am an idiot...
About sixty-nine seconds later, he remade your world in his image. Stuffed me in a closet on the moon. And we all lived unhappily ever after without commercial interruptions!
About sixty-nine seconds later, he remade your world in his image. Stuffed me in a closet on the moon. And we all lived unhappily ever after without commercial interruptions!
— Mr. Mxyzptlk, Emperor Joker
Dr. Starline: I'd always assumed Sonic defeated him because he was so unnaturally powerful. But now it looks like the real cause is Eggman can't plan for or adapt to the long term.
Orbot: Eh, it's about fifty-fifty, to be honest. Big idea, big execution, Sonic shows up, "I hate that hedgehog", big explosion. Rinse, repeat.
Orbot: Eh, it's about fifty-fifty, to be honest. Big idea, big execution, Sonic shows up, "I hate that hedgehog", big explosion. Rinse, repeat.
Brainiac 5: It's a ten-thousand-year-old Brocian hunting statue! Rumored by natives to have "magical" properties when struck by lightning, so I was analyzing its reception to other kinds of energy!
Supergirl: Okay! So what did you hit it with?
Brainiac-5: Uh, I opened the timestream and bombarded it with chronon energy.
Supergirl: WHAT?
Brainiac-5: Obviously that wasn't the best of my ideas!
Supergirl: So what's it doing now?
Brainiac-5: Based on my readings, I'm pretty sure I just created a magical time bomb. And if my calculations are correct, we've got less than four seconds to live.
Supergirl: Okay! So what did you hit it with?
Brainiac-5: Uh, I opened the timestream and bombarded it with chronon energy.
Supergirl: WHAT?
Brainiac-5: Obviously that wasn't the best of my ideas!
Supergirl: So what's it doing now?
Brainiac-5: Based on my readings, I'm pretty sure I just created a magical time bomb. And if my calculations are correct, we've got less than four seconds to live.
That was not my best plan.
— Superior Girl after her powers turn a cat into a saber-toothed tiger, Supergirl: Cosmic Adventures in the 8th Grade
"Chromium machines to kill a master of magnetism? No wonder we call ourselves Homo Superior."
— Magneto, Ultimate X-Men (2001)
Justin: Should I call Shaw back in to finish the job?
Norman: No.
Justin: No?
Norman: No. His parents, the school, too many people to put two and two together. An autopsy to deal with. There's a trail. It's not a smart move now.
Norman: No.
Justin: No?
Norman: No. His parents, the school, too many people to put two and two together. An autopsy to deal with. There's a trail. It's not a smart move now.
Comic Strips
”How can something seem so plausible at the time and so idiotic in retrospect?”
—Calvin, after throwing a water balloon in the air and trying to catch it, with predictable results.
Fan Works
Zooble: I want the ability to have SEX.
Caine: I'd have to model everyone's genitals and I don't know who's supposed to have what or where.
[Beat]
Zooble: Right. Nevermind...
Caine: I'd have to model everyone's genitals and I don't know who's supposed to have what or where.
[Beat]
Zooble: Right. Nevermind...
"That's the thing. There was no guarantee of this newfound attempt at rebellion working. Katniss isn't the first tribute to be taken advantage of for the prospect of a greater good. Annie wasn't the first. I wasn't even the first.
And that's entirely the problem. None of us are the first. All of us had agreed for different reasons: hope, anger, the thought that we wouldn't survive anyway, so we might as well stick a middle finger to the Capitol in the process.
None of us had been warned of or prepared for the consequences if we did live to see the other side while the plan died in our stead."
And that's entirely the problem. None of us are the first. All of us had agreed for different reasons: hope, anger, the thought that we wouldn't survive anyway, so we might as well stick a middle finger to the Capitol in the process.
None of us had been warned of or prepared for the consequences if we did live to see the other side while the plan died in our stead."
"So that's the plan, exterminate all humans in a ten kilometer radius and desperately hope the dominant species has absolutely no means of reprisal. What say you, newbie?"
— The Shadow Cat on Oyakata's plan in Big Human on Campus chapter 16
Wow, I didn’t think this through enough, did I? I swear that’s going on my grave.
— Danny, Danny Phantom: Fire And Ice
Anonymous: Kanade really was like “The risk I took was calculated, but damn am I bad at maths.”
Mod Poi: Yeah, like - the girl didn’t consider that trying to make her sibling into a puppet meant she had to give commands to Hibiki as well, who wouldn’t function properly without her.
Mod Poi: Yeah, like - the girl didn’t consider that trying to make her sibling into a puppet meant she had to give commands to Hibiki as well, who wouldn’t function properly without her.
Kanade: [Even] then, I already won as my Hibiki is just some puppet at this point and I just gotta wait until after December 24th, then soon everything will go [back] to normal where she's under my control.
Hibiki: And should I remind you that means you'll be taking care of me, including helping me go to the bathroom. I mean, seriously — your plan to turn me into a puppet was dog shit and you know it.
Kanade: Sh-Shut up Hibiki, my plan was totally perfect and this is only a set back, things will go back to normal!
Hibiki: And what of it? Even if I do go back into that puppet state or whatever, I can still tell you that your plan to isolate and kill all the people I care about, including our parents! Which you [did] to [turn] me into depending on you which [later] turns me into a puppet was shit and you know it. For someone who claims to be this 'perfect' person or whatever, you really didn't think this through at all.
Hibiki: And should I remind you that means you'll be taking care of me, including helping me go to the bathroom. I mean, seriously — your plan to turn me into a puppet was dog shit and you know it.
Kanade: Sh-Shut up Hibiki, my plan was totally perfect and this is only a set back, things will go back to normal!
Hibiki: And what of it? Even if I do go back into that puppet state or whatever, I can still tell you that your plan to isolate and kill all the people I care about, including our parents! Which you [did] to [turn] me into depending on you which [later] turns me into a puppet was shit and you know it. For someone who claims to be this 'perfect' person or whatever, you really didn't think this through at all.
—Despair to Future Arcs, Christmas Break: Mistletoe Filler Arc
In retrospect, Harry had given himself hours to make the most important discovery in the history of magic, and months to break through the undeveloped mental barriers of an eleven-year-old boy. This could indicate that Harry had some sort of major cognitive deficit with respect to estimating task completion times.
Chat Noir was again reminded about his tendency to not think things through at all. Because, amidst all of his assurances that nothing about this could possibly go wrong, he neglected to contemplate the scenario in which Chat Noir had already unknowingly swiped right on Ladybug before tonight, and that Ladybug swiping right on Adrien now would match her with him right then and there.
Which is exactly what happened.
Which is exactly what happened.
— Chat Noir accidentally finds out Ladybug's secret identity through Tinder, It's A Match!
Make stupid decisions, die stupid deaths. You had it coming, Madam. If you had driven Nezu to expel someone else, you would still have a Symbol to rally behind. But you didn’t. You chose to kick Sensei. Now, you suffer the consequences.
— Skipper, An ordinary life
"Perhaps I shouldn't have trained emotionally unstable teenagers to pilot weapons of mechanized destruction? Eh, too late to worry about that now. Now I need a new psychologist to hopefully decrazy my pilots."
— General Taihou, Rise of the Minisukas
"We don't have to justify ourselves!" Clover says, throwing out a single pokeball and—ah, yep, there's the Abomasnow. "Snowy. Blizzard."
That would actually be a threat to Aster... if the Blizzard actually hit. And if the ice didn't just full on evaporate in the heat of Firespit Island.
"Has it escaped your notice," Cynthia says almost idly, "that we are standing right next to lava? How did you think that was going to work?"
That would actually be a threat to Aster... if the Blizzard actually hit. And if the ice didn't just full on evaporate in the heat of Firespit Island.
"Has it escaped your notice," Cynthia says almost idly, "that we are standing right next to lava? How did you think that was going to work?"
"What did I expect to gain from having a heavy, bone-breaking implement on something that's designed to be thrown so it flies back at me?"
Chthon: At the moment of your birth, I imbued you with my mystical essence so that one day you would be powerful enough to serve as my mortal host on this plane of reality.
Scarlet Witch: And you didn't think that that might make me strong enough to fight off possession?
Chthon: I, uh... huh
Scarlet Witch: And you didn't think that that might make me strong enough to fight off possession?
Chthon: I, uh... huh
Dr. Alia Gregor: Ha ha ha, we've successfully killed off all of the X-Men who aren't cool with murder!
Dr. Alia Gregor: wait shit
Dr. Alia Gregor: wait shit
Films — Animated
Aladdin: We've got 'em trapped!
Iago: We?! They are forty thieves! We are you, a rug, a monkey, and me! Wait, don't count me.
Iago: We?! They are forty thieves! We are you, a rug, a monkey, and me! Wait, don't count me.
Doc Hudson: Hook him up, Mater.
Mater: Okie-dokie.
(Mater disables the parking boot on McQueen, and the latter immediately speeds off)
McQueen: FREEDOM!
Mater: Maybe I should've... hooked him up to Bessie, and then... then took the boot off.
Mater: Okie-dokie.
(Mater disables the parking boot on McQueen, and the latter immediately speeds off)
McQueen: FREEDOM!
Mater: Maybe I should've... hooked him up to Bessie, and then... then took the boot off.
— Cars 1
(Mansley has just ordered a nuclear strike on the Iron Giant)
Rogard: That missile is targeted to the Giant's current position! Where's the Giant, Mansley?!
(Mansley looks over his shoulder to see the Giant standing right behind him)
Mansley: Ohhh...
Rogard: That missile is targeted to the Giant's current position! Where's the Giant, Mansley?!
(Mansley looks over his shoulder to see the Giant standing right behind him)
Mansley: Ohhh...
Bowler Hat Guy: What's going on?! Why aren't you seizing the boy?!
T-Rex: (in subtitles) I have a big head and little arms. I'm just not sure how well this plan was thought through.
(Beat as Bowler Hat Guy gets a little Twitchy Eye)
T-Rex: ...Master?
Bowler Hat Guy: ARGH! STUPID, STUPID!
T-Rex: (in subtitles) I have a big head and little arms. I'm just not sure how well this plan was thought through.
(Beat as Bowler Hat Guy gets a little Twitchy Eye)
T-Rex: ...Master?
Bowler Hat Guy: ARGH! STUPID, STUPID!
"Wow. Okay, that does complicate things quite a bit. Remember, you can't reveal yourself as an agent to your host family, but, you also can't reveal yourself as their pet to Dr. Doofenshmirtz. ...I guess in retrospect, you are the single worst agent we could have sent on this mission! Heh, alright. See ya'! Wouldn't wanna be ya'."
— Major Monogram to Perry the Platypus, Phineas and Ferb The Movie: Candace Against the Universe
Oscar: I'm sorry, I totally betrayed you. But listen, I just got one little problem I gotta take care of.
Angie: Oh, really? And what's that?
Oscar: SHARKS! Are COMING! To GET ME!
Angie: And they should! What'd you expect? You just take credit for killing a shark, and then everything be fine and dandy for the rest of your life?
Oscar: Uh... yeah.
Angie: Oh, really? And what's that?
Oscar: SHARKS! Are COMING! To GET ME!
Angie: And they should! What'd you expect? You just take credit for killing a shark, and then everything be fine and dandy for the rest of your life?
Oscar: Uh... yeah.
"Wait a minute... I just lit a rocket. Rockets explode!"
— Woody, Toy Story 1
Films — Live-Action
"I immediately regret this decision!"
— Ron Burgundy, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Loki: The Chitauri are coming. Nothing will change that. What have I to fear?
Tony Stark: The Avengers. That's what we call ourselves; we're sort of like a team. "Earth's Mightiest Heroes" type thing.
Loki: Yes, I've met them.
Tony Stark: Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one. But let's do a head count here: your brother the demi-god; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and YOU, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of them.
Loki: That was the plan.
Tony Stark: Not a great plan. When they come, and they will, they'll come for you.
Tony Stark: The Avengers. That's what we call ourselves; we're sort of like a team. "Earth's Mightiest Heroes" type thing.
Loki: Yes, I've met them.
Tony Stark: Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one. But let's do a head count here: your brother the demi-god; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and YOU, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of them.
Loki: That was the plan.
Tony Stark: Not a great plan. When they come, and they will, they'll come for you.
Mary: Clark! If you untie me, we can talk this through! Get you feeling better!
Clark: Yeah, well, what if I did untie you? You know, what then? You'd run around here like a chicken with its head cut off looking for a way out. You'd end up in the same place you are now, like the "path" you're always talking about.
Clark: Yeah, well, what if I did untie you? You know, what then? You'd run around here like a chicken with its head cut off looking for a way out. You'd end up in the same place you are now, like the "path" you're always talking about.
Dr. Marla Collins: Whoever let them out sabotaged the system.
Lawrence Van Allen: Well then, I guess it's time for the backup plan...You do have a backup plan?
Lawrence Van Allen: Well then, I guess it's time for the backup plan...You do have a backup plan?
"Let Me Get This Straight.... You think that your client, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands. And your plan is to blackmail this person? Good luck.
—Lucius Fox, The Dark Knight
"You know, when I brought Edward down here to live with us, I really didn't think things through. And I didn't think about what could happen to him… or to us… or to the neighborhood. And now I think that maybe… it might be best if he goes back up [to the castle]. Because at least there he's safe."
— Peg Boggs, Edward Scissorhands
"No, sir, you're not thinking this through! Suppose we try it. It's easy to make a mistake, even when you think you know exactly where the enemy is. Trust me. Say it really is World War II down there, and we make one slip up. Just one. The Axis will have this plane, the technology, And that book, which will tell Hitler everything. There will be a Nazi flag flying from the White House, all because you wanted to be a hero. And maybe we can change the past. But we can also screw it up. Forever."
— Sgt. Turner, Flight World War II
Johnny Cage: I got [The Amulet of Shinnok]! ...How do we destroy it?
Kano: Well, fucked if I know!
Johnny: What do you mean, you don't know?!
Kano: Well, I found it for you, do I have to do everything?!
Johnny: But this is YOUR plan!
Kano: Don't talk to me like that! Why don't you check the instructions on the back?
Johnny: Oh, yeah! That's a good idea! [flips the amulet over] Here we go! "One ring to rule them all, one ring to GO FUCK YOURSELF!"
Kano: Why don't you leave the jokes to me and you can stick to being a cunt?!
Kano: Well, fucked if I know!
Johnny: What do you mean, you don't know?!
Kano: Well, I found it for you, do I have to do everything?!
Johnny: But this is YOUR plan!
Kano: Don't talk to me like that! Why don't you check the instructions on the back?
Johnny: Oh, yeah! That's a good idea! [flips the amulet over] Here we go! "One ring to rule them all, one ring to GO FUCK YOURSELF!"
Kano: Why don't you leave the jokes to me and you can stick to being a cunt?!
"Oh, wow, this is confusing! Hey, Mike! You wanna hand me my calculations?" (Paper flies into mouth) "Thank you! Oh, wow, look at that — "Breach hull, all die!" Even had it underlined!
— Crow T. Robot, Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie
Andrews: How many people are there on board?
Captain Smith: 2,200 or more. And room in the boats for...how many?
Andrews: 1,200.
Captain Smith: I don't think the Board of Trade regulations ever visualized this situation. Do you?
Captain Smith: 2,200 or more. And room in the boats for...how many?
Andrews: 1,200.
Captain Smith: I don't think the Board of Trade regulations ever visualized this situation. Do you?
"I'm curious. After killin' me, what is it you plan on doing next?"
— Captain Barbossa, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Del: I had no idea those beer cans were gonna blow like that.
Neal: You left 'em on a vibrating bed, what did you think was going to happen?
Del: It just didn't occur to me.
Neal: It didn't occur to you, so I have to sleep in a puddle of beer.
Neal: You left 'em on a vibrating bed, what did you think was going to happen?
Del: It just didn't occur to me.
Neal: It didn't occur to you, so I have to sleep in a puddle of beer.
"What have I done?! My brains... are going into my feet!"
— Dark Helmet, Spaceballs
Stephen Strange: I'm sorry, but are you telling me, that you didn't even think to plead your case with themnote first, before you asked me to brainwash the entire world?
Peter Parker: I mean, when you put it like that, then...
Peter Parker: I mean, when you put it like that, then...
Bucky: My plan's working, I thought of everything.
Stacey: Great! So, how do we stop the monster from eating our brains?!
Bucky: Didn't think of that.
Stacey: Great! So, how do we stop the monster from eating our brains?!
Bucky: Didn't think of that.
Literature
Marco: [in bat morph] <Um ... I have a stupid question. How do we grab this thing?>
[ten-second pause]
Cassie: <We don't have hands.>
Rachel: <We can grab it in our mouths. Right? Bats eat moths and stuff. They must have pretty strong jaws. Strong enough to get that crystal back to the air vent.>
Jake: <Oh, duh. Of course. I'll do it.>
Ax: <I believe that may not work.>
Cassie: <Jake? Jake? If you have a crystal in your mouth, how do you fire the echolocating burst?>
Ax: <I believe our plan now has somewhat of a flaw.>
[ten-second pause]
Cassie: <We don't have hands.>
Rachel: <We can grab it in our mouths. Right? Bats eat moths and stuff. They must have pretty strong jaws. Strong enough to get that crystal back to the air vent.>
Jake: <Oh, duh. Of course. I'll do it.>
Ax: <I believe that may not work.>
Cassie: <Jake? Jake? If you have a crystal in your mouth, how do you fire the echolocating burst?>
Ax: <I believe our plan now has somewhat of a flaw.>
—Animorphs #10: The Android
Xander Harris: Where are you going?
Cordelia Chase (climbing tree) They can't fly!
Xander: Doesn't mean they can't climb.
Cordelia Chase (climbing tree) They can't fly!
Xander: Doesn't mean they can't climb.
"I was almost to the rooming house front door when I really and truly realized I’d just crossed the guy who ran a lot more of my home town than the mayor ever did."
"It was an oversight of monumental proportions to assume that a shortage of a lifesaving drug would not precipitate theft and pilfering."
— Senator Derek McDowell, The Rationing
Lister showered, helped himself to the change of clothing that was laid out on the seven-foot four-poster bed and harpooned his body with a series of vitamin boosters that were available in the bathroom. All in all, he felt pretty good now; well, he would have felt good if he'd been able to ignore the uneasy sea of nausea swilling about in his guts - which he wasn't. He'd made the wrong choice. He knew that now. There was no way out of here. He'd panicked and instead of biding his time and returning to Cyberhell and working out a plan, he'd snatched at the Reco deal, hoping something would turn up. He didn't think things through - he thought things halfway through and presumed the rest would work itself out. He didn't plan things properly. Kriss was right about that.
—Red Dwarf: Last Human
"It's not my job to explain this to you, Rob, but in the future, I'd advise you *not* to intentionally bury your own wife's brilliant ideas when you're writing a script based on a bestselling book that she wrote."
— Nigel Doggett, Thats Not How It Happened
Live-Action TV
Emilio: Hey Lola, would you like to go out for dinner with me tonight?
Lola: Are you asking me out on a date?
Emilio: No, no, no, it's just that Carmen doesn't want to reconcile with me and I need a girl to make her jealous, and see what happens.
Lola: I'm down with the plan.
Emilio: See how easy it is? Belén overthinks it!
Lola: And which restaurant is she going to?
Emilio: Who?
Lola: Carmen.
Emilio: I don't know.
Lola: And how are we going to make her jealous if you don't know where she is?
Emilio: Well, well, well, this plan is a bit green, needs some more work.
Jake: So, just to recapnote : You left an unmarked package on a police captain's desk on a random Monday with a suspicious message written on it that looks like it was scrawled by a crazy person.
Amy: Mmhmm.
Holt: BOMB! There's a bomb! Everyone out!
The precinct panics and an alarm starts to wail
Holt: Go! Go! This is not a drill! Let's go!
Jake: Great gift, babe!
Amy: Mmhmm.
Holt: BOMB! There's a bomb! Everyone out!
The precinct panics and an alarm starts to wail
Holt: Go! Go! This is not a drill! Let's go!
Jake: Great gift, babe!
The Doctor: Installed in 1991. Three inches of steel lining every single wall. They'll never get in!
Rose: And how do we get out?
The Doctor: ...ah.
Rose: And how do we get out?
The Doctor: ...ah.
So, you [Torchwood] find the breach, probe it, the sphere comes through, six hundred feet above London, bam. It leaves a hole in the fabric of reality. And that hole, you think, "Oh, shall we leave it alone? Shall we back off? Shall we play it safe?" Nah, you think, "Let’s make it BIGGER!"
— The Doctor, Doctor Who, "Army of Ghosts"
Osgood: Sonic Specs? Isn't that a bit pointless, like a visual hearing aid?
The Doctor: What's wrong with pointless? I once invented an invisible watch. Spot the design flaw...
The Doctor: What's wrong with pointless? I once invented an invisible watch. Spot the design flaw...
Josh: Drake?
Drake: What?
Josh: Where's the door hole?
Drake: It goes right there. See, I drew it with a magic marker.
Josh: You were supposed to cut it out with the power saw.
Drake: Dude, I'm gonna.
Josh: Oh, really?
Drake: Yes.
Josh: So go get the power saw.
Drake: Okay, I will.
(Drake tries to open the door and slowly realizes there isn't one or any other exit)
Drake: ...I see the problem.
Josh: Oh, do ya!?
Drake: What?
Josh: Where's the door hole?
Drake: It goes right there. See, I drew it with a magic marker.
Josh: You were supposed to cut it out with the power saw.
Drake: Dude, I'm gonna.
Josh: Oh, really?
Drake: Yes.
Josh: So go get the power saw.
Drake: Okay, I will.
(Drake tries to open the door and slowly realizes there isn't one or any other exit)
Drake: ...I see the problem.
Josh: Oh, do ya!?
— Drake & Josh, "Tree House"
"When the fighting in the North is over, someone wins; you understand that, don't you? If the Dead win, they march south and kill us all. If the Living win, and we've betrayed them, they march south and kill us all!"
— Jaime Lannister, calling Cersei out for deciding to betray Daenerys and Jon, Game of Thrones, "The Dragon and the Wolf"
Hammond: [On his tree seed] Goes ‘round the tree and you can sit any side, and admire the view.
Clarkson: And this... is exactly how you designed it, is it?
Hammond: Yep, it is.
May: So how are you gonna get it ‘round the tree?
Hammond: Uhh. Yeah.
Clarkson: And this... is exactly how you designed it, is it?
Hammond: Yep, it is.
May: So how are you gonna get it ‘round the tree?
Hammond: Uhh. Yeah.
— Top Gear (UK), Top Ground Gear Force
Tabletop Games
The old magus always did leap before he looked. That was why he and his chief acolytes used a vitae-powered immortality spell without testing it first for side-effects. That was why he diablerized an Antediluvian without considering what the Ancient's soul could do to his own. From the stories about Saulot the healer and teacher, Tremere thought the Antediluvian was a weakling. He never heard the stories about Saulot the demon hunter, or the legend that Saulot sired the devilish Baali in a moment of rage. He never read the Book of Nod, which clearly spoke of Saulot as a prophet. He never wondered why, if it was so easy to devour a sleeping Antediluvian, no one else had done it in thousands of years.
—Vampire: The Masquerade - Nights Of Prophecy
Theatre
"Running away, go to it
Where did you have in mind?
Have to take care
Unless there's a 'where'
You'll only be wandering blind
Just more questions
Different kind."
Where did you have in mind?
Have to take care
Unless there's a 'where'
You'll only be wandering blind
Just more questions
Different kind."
— The Mysterious Man, Into the Woods, "No More"
"I think I'd better think it out again."
— Fagin, Oliver!, "Reviewing the Situation"
Video Games
Hey, cow... Did you hear that that fellow Loki thought he could have an easy life if he got a hold of McNeil's money, but he didn't know that McNeil was working for a big gang of crooks that doesn't like being stolen from... Sounds pretty dangerous, doesn't it, cow? *
— Bunyan, Breath of Fire III
Good work! I'm happy to inform you that you've been cleared to use the Shard Diffractor. An experimental direct energy weapon sure to come in handy down in the depths... R&D asked me to remind you never to look directly at the beam while firing. I'm not sure how they expect you to shoot the damn thing with your eyes closed, but there you go.
Mickey: Let's locate that key and go home together!
Aqua: Does that mean you know an exit?
Mickey: Well, uh, I was so busy finding a way in, that I didn’t give a lot of thought to where there’d be a way out. But, together we're sure to find one!
Aqua: Does that mean you know an exit?
Mickey: Well, uh, I was so busy finding a way in, that I didn’t give a lot of thought to where there’d be a way out. But, together we're sure to find one!
Good idea! You smash the video blackjack machine with your hammer, causing hundreds of dollars to spill out, which you gladly catch and put in your pockets.
Bad idea! The security guard handles you indelicately as he escorts you to the local jail!
...maybe with good behavior?
Next time, Larry, be a little more careful with the equipment!
Bad idea! The security guard handles you indelicately as he escorts you to the local jail!
...maybe with good behavior?
Next time, Larry, be a little more careful with the equipment!
Wildly wielding your left-handed hammer, you smash the slot machine into a zillion pieces. "Why, of course no one here at the casino will care," you think.
(You think wrong!)
You animal!
That's one way to "beat the slots," Larry! Next time, be gentle with her!
(You think wrong!)
You animal!
That's one way to "beat the slots," Larry! Next time, be gentle with her!
Spider-Man: Great! Now it's just him and me!
Juggernaut: YOU!
Spider-Man: (meekly) Great... now it's just him and me...
Juggernaut: YOU!
Spider-Man: (meekly) Great... now it's just him and me...
"I hit him! ... Why did I do that?!"
— Various stormtroopers, Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order
Web Animation
Gerard Piqué: [To Marcelo, while dodging a spear attack from Paolo Dybala] Why did you call it Beyond Ballon d’Ome when all the important stuff happens inside the Ballon d’Ome!?
[Cut to Marcelo in an Auntie Entity outfit on the Confession Cam]
Marcelo: Yeah, I guess I got carried away with all the cool costumes and production design and didn’t really think the rest of this concept through.
— The Champions: A Battle for the Ballon d’Or
Sofia: (having just been thrown into a TAScorp holding van with Belle and Masa) Hey, guys! Good to see you again!
Belle: So glad you could join us, Sof. How’s things on the outside?
Sofia: Oh, good, it’s all going according to plan! Once Tari busts Theo out, Lucks loses all leverage, and we can finish him off by releasing the server data.
Masa: Ok, Sofia, but what about the part where we are still hostages?
Sofia: (sits silent and befuddled for a few seconds) Leeeeeeeet’s... all just have faith that Tari knows what she’s doing.
Belle: So glad you could join us, Sof. How’s things on the outside?
Sofia: Oh, good, it’s all going according to plan! Once Tari busts Theo out, Lucks loses all leverage, and we can finish him off by releasing the server data.
Masa: Ok, Sofia, but what about the part where we are still hostages?
Sofia: (sits silent and befuddled for a few seconds) Leeeeeeeet’s... all just have faith that Tari knows what she’s doing.
"How do we do it, Captain? How do we defeat the croc menace? And more importantly, why did you choose to install cannons on this ship without actually bringing any cannonballs?"
— Crewmate, an odd voyage
Eddy: Since he was legally claimed by Warner Bros. Entertainment, it is officially canon that Bugs was a struggling rapist all along.
Courage: I'm still struggling to realize why they would want to...legally fight for that.
Zuko: I mean, legally, they did that to themselves.
Max: I bet those stupid bastards didn't even watch the video!
Anakin: To be fair, they've only been around for 97 years. They're probably still developing good business practices.
Courage: I'm still struggling to realize why they would want to...legally fight for that.
Zuko: I mean, legally, they did that to themselves.
Max: I bet those stupid bastards didn't even watch the video!
Anakin: To be fair, they've only been around for 97 years. They're probably still developing good business practices.
[Cinder is demonstrating a Dynamite Candle booby trap to her minions]
Emerald: I don't really understand how this is supposed to work. It's clearly just a cake with a stick of dynamite in it.
Cinder: [growls] You are clearly not grasping this concept! [lights the wick of the dynamite] See?! Now when you lean in to blow out the candles-
Emerald: Uh, Cinder?
Cinder: Yes! Emerald! What could you possibly still not understand about this concept?!
Emerald: (points at the dynamite) Well...
[Cinder looks back at the dynamite, which is about to explode, and realizes what Emerald's getting at]
Cinder: ...Oh.
Emerald: I don't really understand how this is supposed to work. It's clearly just a cake with a stick of dynamite in it.
Cinder: [growls] You are clearly not grasping this concept! [lights the wick of the dynamite] See?! Now when you lean in to blow out the candles-
Emerald: Uh, Cinder?
Cinder: Yes! Emerald! What could you possibly still not understand about this concept?!
Emerald: (points at the dynamite) Well...
[Cinder looks back at the dynamite, which is about to explode, and realizes what Emerald's getting at]
Cinder: ...Oh.
Luigi: Mario, where's your menu?
Mario: Menu? We just make pizza here.
Luigi: Yes, but... what kind of pizza?!
Mario: (Beat) Can I have some money now?
Mario: Menu? We just make pizza here.
Luigi: Yes, but... what kind of pizza?!
Mario: (Beat) Can I have some money now?
Bill: (sets up a Shock Trap in front of Nergigante)
Nergigante: (eyes the trap)
Bill: [in front of the trap] Do it. Do it! Come on, kill me, I'm here! COME OOON! DO IT NOW! KILL MEEEE-
Nergigante: (steps over the trap and blasts Bill and Bogues with a thorn barrage)
Nergigante: (eyes the trap)
Bill: [in front of the trap] Do it. Do it! Come on, kill me, I'm here! COME OOON! DO IT NOW! KILL MEEEE-
Nergigante: (steps over the trap and blasts Bill and Bogues with a thorn barrage)
— Something About, "Something About Monster Hunter: World PART 2 ANIMATED"
(Eggman blows up the Earth with the Eclipse Cannon; Evil Laugh)
Shadow: You idiot...
Eggman: Hmmm? What are you talking about, Shadow? Everything went according to plan! Now, I can build my new empire!
Shadow: And exactly where are you going to build it?
Eggman: (beat) Oh, crud.
Shadow: You idiot...
Eggman: Hmmm? What are you talking about, Shadow? Everything went according to plan! Now, I can build my new empire!
Shadow: And exactly where are you going to build it?
Eggman: (beat) Oh, crud.
— Sonic Shorts Volume 7
Webcomics
Breya: You're more mean-spirited than I remember you being.
Petey: It's this organic body. Hologram fur wasn't itchy.
Schlock: Does that mean that if we shave all the Ob'enn they'll be nice?
Note: In the days following this conversation, a group of prisoners from the Scimitar of Irreparable Damage was isolated, shaved, and subsequently observed.
Their temperament did not improve. In fact, their behavior departed the control group's graph so nonlinearly that plans for a larger study were permanently tabled, and Petey briefly considered excising his memory of having entertained such a spectacularly bad idea in the first place.
Petey: It's this organic body. Hologram fur wasn't itchy.
Schlock: Does that mean that if we shave all the Ob'enn they'll be nice?
Note: In the days following this conversation, a group of prisoners from the Scimitar of Irreparable Damage was isolated, shaved, and subsequently observed.
Their temperament did not improve. In fact, their behavior departed the control group's graph so nonlinearly that plans for a larger study were permanently tabled, and Petey briefly considered excising his memory of having entertained such a spectacularly bad idea in the first place.
*Luigifan, Tulip, and Tails are helping Tori's siblings, Tora and Boar, to fight off a swarm of giant ants, while Matt, Annie, Marcus, and Lucy are rescuing Flora from their leader, an oversized queen ant known as the Ant God.*
Luigifan: Er... By the way... Where's Tori? I know she's usually a noncombatant, but shouldn't she be able to fight in her nekomata form?
Tora: She's probably back at the house; sure she can scratch things and all, but like most nekomata, she can summon the dead.
Boar: What purpose is there in chasing after and failing to catch something when you can command the dead to appear and kill the target from your own home?
Tulip: Wait, what?!? Are you telling me that Tori is using necromancy?!? Agh... oh dear... shouldn't exist... *Tulip shudders, then faints. Despite being in the middle of combat with giant ants that wouldn't hesitate to devour her (which might or might not involve ripping her apart).*
Luigifan: *sweatdrop* Er... With the exception of Lily, Tulip really doesn't like the undead... Their presence somehow interferes with her life functions. And speaking of her survival, I've got to get her out of here before those ants take advantage of her. Er... Not in that way... Soma Cruz! *Luigifan pulls out a Timer Ball and summons his Yveltal.* Tulip's unconscious! Quick, I need you to carry her out of harm's way!
Soma Cruz: [not that Soma Cruz; Luigifan named his Yveltal after him] *Soma Cruz bellows and gingerly picks Tulip up. As soon as it touches her, though, her body starts shriveling to dust.*
Luigifan: ._.; Oh, Crap!, I forgot she's weak to life-draining effects!! Set her down!!! Set her down!!! note
Soma Cruz: *confused* *Soma Cruz drops Tulip, whose body looks like it's been considerably aged.*
Luigifan: What have I done?!? ... Rudy is gonna be so pissed off at me when he finds out about this...
Luigifan: Er... By the way... Where's Tori? I know she's usually a noncombatant, but shouldn't she be able to fight in her nekomata form?
Tora: She's probably back at the house; sure she can scratch things and all, but like most nekomata, she can summon the dead.
Boar: What purpose is there in chasing after and failing to catch something when you can command the dead to appear and kill the target from your own home?
Tulip: Wait, what?!? Are you telling me that Tori is using necromancy?!? Agh... oh dear... shouldn't exist... *Tulip shudders, then faints. Despite being in the middle of combat with giant ants that wouldn't hesitate to devour her (which might or might not involve ripping her apart).*
Luigifan: *sweatdrop* Er... With the exception of Lily, Tulip really doesn't like the undead... Their presence somehow interferes with her life functions. And speaking of her survival, I've got to get her out of here before those ants take advantage of her. Er... Not in that way... Soma Cruz! *Luigifan pulls out a Timer Ball and summons his Yveltal.* Tulip's unconscious! Quick, I need you to carry her out of harm's way!
Soma Cruz: [not that Soma Cruz; Luigifan named his Yveltal after him] *Soma Cruz bellows and gingerly picks Tulip up. As soon as it touches her, though, her body starts shriveling to dust.*
Luigifan: ._.; Oh, Crap!, I forgot she's weak to life-draining effects!! Set her down!!! Set her down!!! note
Soma Cruz: *confused* *Soma Cruz drops Tulip, whose body looks like it's been considerably aged.*
Luigifan: What have I done?!? ... Rudy is gonna be so pissed off at me when he finds out about this...
—Luigifan making the horrendously stupid mistake of using a life-draining Olympus Mon to airlift an incapacitated ally out of danger during the "For tuna the can tolls" roleplay of White Dark Life note
of White Dark Life note Luigifan: Soma Cruz! Like we practiced! OMEGA OBLIVION WING!!!!!!!
[Soma Cruz emits a red ray of baleful light from its tail, which it then sweeps across the field, felling a hundred ants in one stroke and almost severing one of the Ant God's legs.]
Flora: Oh God... >_<;
Phillip: Did he seriously do that in the middle of a city?!?
[Soma Cruz emits a red ray of baleful light from its tail, which it then sweeps across the field, felling a hundred ants in one stroke and almost severing one of the Ant God's legs.]
Flora: Oh God... >_<;
Phillip: Did he seriously do that in the middle of a city?!?
—Luigifan once again being stupid with his Yveltal during the "For tuna the can tolls" roleplay of White Dark Life (thankfully, there was No Endor Holocaust) note
of White Dark Life (thankfully, there was No Endor Holocaust) note Doc: Are you telling me you have a bundle of Dynamite in there, in a room full of lightning and other random electrical discharges?!?
(Beat Panel)
Packrat: ...I admit I may not have thought this all the way through!
(Beat Panel)
Packrat: ...I admit I may not have thought this all the way through!
Web Original
Matt Ryan: Brady, you dumbshit. If you didn't want to get stuck with the last pick, you should have gone from MOST to LEAST handsome.
Tom Brady: FUCK. I DID NOT THINK THIS THROUGH.
Tom Brady: FUCK. I DID NOT THINK THIS THROUGH.
— NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook, "The Fantasy Draft," after Tom Brady's "least to most handsome" draft order leaves him stuck with Mark Sanchez.
The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math.
Batman: I just didn't think you'd actually go through with it!
Red Hood: Bruce. I've been overcrowding morgues all week. I'm giving dieners burnout. What did you think I was gonna do?!
Red Hood: Bruce. I've been overcrowding morgues all week. I'm giving dieners burnout. What did you think I was gonna do?!
— On killing the Joker, Batman's Bad Plan
Player SixFeetUnder was trying to trade in a scythe, because even computer glitches love symbolism, when he accidentally worked out how to spawn any item in the game. Everyone immediately demonstrated their intelligence by relentlessly duplicating an item whose only useful property was rarity. The pink party hat went from being the most valuable item in the game to the least valuable hat.
— Website/Cracked, "The 7 Most Impressive Dick Moves in Online Gaming History"
" Web Video
Obi-Wan: I would have won!
Anakin: Well, yeah, sure. I mean, except for the part where you're dead at the end.
Anakin: Well, yeah, sure. I mean, except for the part where you're dead at the end.
Kami: Wait, so you tried to have me killed, THEN use the Dragon Balls?note
Garlic Jr: Eh, what? Yeah, uh, why? Oh, shit. Wow, I dodged a bullet on that one! Thank God my men are so incompetent.
Garlic Jr: Eh, what? Yeah, uh, why? Oh, shit. Wow, I dodged a bullet on that one! Thank God my men are so incompetent.
"Remember when Wakefield sued Brian Deer? This would turn out to be the worst mistake he ever made in his life. Because Wakefield's libel case was related to accusations of what he did during the study, that meant that the records of what happened in the study were evidence in the case now. I mean, how else were they gonna prove it was libel or not? The judge agreed that Deer had to be granted access to the confidential, unredacted medical records of the children in the study. By trying to sue a journalist into shutting up, Wakefield had accidentally given him permission to see EVERYTHING! Deer recalls being sat in a room with his lawyer, reading the medical records of the children and other records of what happened in the study, while Wakefield's legal team were rushing to get a cab to take them to the courthouse, so they could drop the suit and stop him reading it as fast as they could."
"You mean you're telling me that you got a rowdy counterculture audience cram-packed into an easy-bake asphalt oven without adequate water or sanitation and didn't think that this would eventually happen when the heavy metal band that you booked played their Signature Song called "Break Stuff"? Are you stupid?"
"Also, super dumb to kidnap a documentary crew to film your multiple murders, dude's going straight to The Raft. Idiot."
"Oh, I don't know what I was expecting, actually, now that I think about it."
Ledger: [Corpsing] What did you do?
Brock: Ok, hear me out, hear me out: So I'm trying to make a stack of something, right, so you can't open the door. Ummm, #1, Little Did I Know that door opens out... [Ledger Corpsing even harder] ...so, that wouldn't have worked anyways.
Ledger: So your whole plan was based on the fact that the door would open inward?
[Beat]
Brock: Yeah.
Brock: Ok, hear me out, hear me out: So I'm trying to make a stack of something, right, so you can't open the door. Ummm, #1, Little Did I Know that door opens out... [Ledger Corpsing even harder] ...so, that wouldn't have worked anyways.
Ledger: So your whole plan was based on the fact that the door would open inward?
[Beat]
Brock: Yeah.
— Mr. Gibbs, POTATO HIDE AND SEEK
I don't think Jekyll thought this plan out very well. I mean, [the youth potion he's giving Queen Victoria] only works for one night at a time, and requires a freshly-killed soul each time. With that in mind: What happens if he can't find a victim and misses a night? If it only works during the night, then what's he going to do with her during the day when she's a mentally-intact old lady? Plus (you know, small detail, but...) I just think someone might, just might notice the sudden disappearance of QUEEN VIC-FUCKING-TORIA!!!
—The Necro Critic on Dr. Jekyll's evil plan from Van Helsing: The London Assignment.
Tom: I don't know why I thought this challenge was a good idea, given that my opponents are the guy I write my videos with, and the guy who fucking puts those videos together!
— TryHards, "Making An Award Winning Film IN A WEEK"
Donkey Kong: Gimme the titty, Krusha!
Krusha: Woof woof bark bark woof woof bark. Hey, why are you running at me like that?
(Donkey kicks the Crystal Titty out of Krusha's hands and into the sky)
King K. Rool: MY CRYSTAL! NOOOOOOOOO!!! Now no one has the titty, not even you!
Donkey Kong: Huh. Didn't really think this one through. Well, I'mma go slam some ass!
Krusha: Woof woof bark bark woof woof bark. Hey, why are you running at me like that?
(Donkey kicks the Crystal Titty out of Krusha's hands and into the sky)
King K. Rool: MY CRYSTAL! NOOOOOOOOO!!! Now no one has the titty, not even you!
Donkey Kong: Huh. Didn't really think this one through. Well, I'mma go slam some ass!
Donkey Kong: Alright! I'm about to spice things UP in here! Better stay back, Diddy! Ha ha! ...Uh, seriously. [turns on vacuum] Whoa!
Diddy Kong: Aww, I KNEW this was gonna be a bad idea, DK! You never got your license to drive a vacuum and you know you're deathly afraid of them!
Donkey Kong: [crying] Make it stop! Please!
Diddy Kong: I can't, I'm allergic to vacuums!
Donkey Kong: [gets dragged by the vacuum out of the window]
Western Animation
Ice King: Ha, ha, Finn! You fell into for my brilliant plan, that I formed out of the thin air like a true magi! Not only did I get you to remove those horrible creatures from my castle, but now you're trapped and only I can see you! So, if you want friends, this is it, pal! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Finn: I'm gonna re-open the hole.
Ice King: NO, WAIT! MY PLAN FELL APART!
Finn: I'm gonna re-open the hole.
Ice King: NO, WAIT! MY PLAN FELL APART!
"I didn't think this through!"
— Jake when his attempt to contain numerous bird-like monsters with his body backfires immediately, Adventure Time, "Come Along With Me ("The Ultimate Adventure")"
Emory: How's the deterraforming going?
Major Shake: When, Uh-What is deterraforming? This is the first I've heard of that.
Oglethorpe: Well, look, look, just settle down. Can you just, like, maybe try and replicate some other people and get an army going, and then, you know, uh, take over the planet?
Emory: Or is that not possible?
Major Shake: I don't know. I don't think I can replicate others. Was that your plan?
Oglethorpe: Well, one of them. We have many plans.
Major Shake: Well, maybe your next plan should be to tell me what the plan is.
Major Shake: When, Uh-What is deterraforming? This is the first I've heard of that.
Oglethorpe: Well, look, look, just settle down. Can you just, like, maybe try and replicate some other people and get an army going, and then, you know, uh, take over the planet?
Emory: Or is that not possible?
Major Shake: I don't know. I don't think I can replicate others. Was that your plan?
Oglethorpe: Well, one of them. We have many plans.
Major Shake: Well, maybe your next plan should be to tell me what the plan is.
Iroh: What do you plan to do now that you've found the Avatar's bison? Keep it locked in our new apartment? Should I go put on a pot of tea for him?
Zuko: First, I have to get him out of here.
Iroh: And then what?! You never think these things through! This is exactly what happened when you captured the Avatar at the North Pole! You had him, and then you had nowhere to go!
Zuko: I would have figured something out!
Iroh: No! If his friends hadn't found you, you would have frozen to death!
Zuko: First, I have to get him out of here.
Iroh: And then what?! You never think these things through! This is exactly what happened when you captured the Avatar at the North Pole! You had him, and then you had nowhere to go!
Zuko: I would have figured something out!
Iroh: No! If his friends hadn't found you, you would have frozen to death!
"I can't believe that yet again, my actions have had consequences!!"
—Cricket Green, Big City Greens
Governor Woodchuck Coodchuck-Berkowitz: I'm astounded that it has come to this. But since the exorbitantly expensive and astonishingly titled I Love California amendment is now law, I formally accept Mr. Peanutbutter's challenge to a ski race. It happens that I'm an excellent skier who won numerous medals in the sport when I raced for Dartmouth but, again, I am shocked that fact is relevant in the matter of selecting our state's governor. Mr. Peanutbutter, I will see you on Devil's Mountain.
Mr. Peanutbutter: Whoa!
Diane: This is insane. You could actually become governor by winning a race.
Mr. Peanutbutter: Yeah. Wow. You know, it's days like this I wish I knew how to ski.
Beat
Katrina: You don't ski?
Mr. Peanutbutter: Never really got into it, no.
Katrina: Then why did you challenge the governor to a ski race?
Mr. Peanutbutter: [chuckles] I didn't think it would get this far. You gotta admit, this is pretty out there.
Mr. Peanutbutter: Whoa!
Diane: This is insane. You could actually become governor by winning a race.
Mr. Peanutbutter: Yeah. Wow. You know, it's days like this I wish I knew how to ski.
Beat
Katrina: You don't ski?
Mr. Peanutbutter: Never really got into it, no.
Katrina: Then why did you challenge the governor to a ski race?
Mr. Peanutbutter: [chuckles] I didn't think it would get this far. You gotta admit, this is pretty out there.
Oh my gosh! When I wished for parents who couldn’t care less, it gave me godparents who couldn’t care less too!
— Timmy Turner, The Fairly OddParents!, "Ruled Out"
Bloo: Yeah, Pizza Pig-Out, I'd like to order twelve extra, extra large pepperoni pizzas with extra sauce and extra cheese to Foster's Home. Yeah, that's the place. Thanks. [to Duchess] Ha! Take that! Not so smart, are ya? That's right, who's got the brains baby? Uh-huh!
Duchess: Tell me, genius, if you don't know how to get downstairs, how will you answer the door when your precious pizzas arrive?!
Bloo: [Beat] AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Duchess: Tell me, genius, if you don't know how to get downstairs, how will you answer the door when your precious pizzas arrive?!
Bloo: [Beat] AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Leela: When you were planning this peace ring, didn't you realize spaceships can move in three dimensions?
Free Waterfall, Sr.: No, I did not.
Free Waterfall, Sr.: No, I did not.
Hermes: Who did you call, Dial-A-Bomb!?
Bender: No, I just told the Robot Company I was defective.
Hermes: You dumb cocktail shaker! Mom won't allow a defective product to tarnish her good name! She'll kill you!
Bender: Big whoop. I'll just download into a new... oh, right. If I die, I die.
Bender: No, I just told the Robot Company I was defective.
Hermes: You dumb cocktail shaker! Mom won't allow a defective product to tarnish her good name! She'll kill you!
Bender: Big whoop. I'll just download into a new... oh, right. If I die, I die.
"Forget taking off the wrappers! I'm eating these now! (choking) That was a mistake!"
— Mable Pines, Gravity Falls, "Blendin's Game"
[Hawkgirl ascends a few hundred feet into the air with Copperhead holding onto her]
Copperhead: Well, get me out of here!
Hawkgirl: And what if I don't?
Copperhead: Then I give you your last kiss. [Copperhead positions his fangs near Hawkgirl's neck]
Hawkgirl: And you fall 40 stories. [Copperhead looks down and realizes Hawkgirl is right] Didn't really think this through, did you?
Copperhead: Well, get me out of here!
Hawkgirl: And what if I don't?
Copperhead: Then I give you your last kiss. [Copperhead positions his fangs near Hawkgirl's neck]
Hawkgirl: And you fall 40 stories. [Copperhead looks down and realizes Hawkgirl is right] Didn't really think this through, did you?
Dale: Inspect away! You can't touch me. This tower's only 99 feet square, it's non-residential, and it doesn't even have a foundation!
Inspector: Hold-hold on for a minute, with a base that narrow, and has no foundation: forget the law for a minute, are you a complete imbecile?
Inspector: Hold-hold on for a minute, with a base that narrow, and has no foundation: forget the law for a minute, are you a complete imbecile?
Mako: Um, why do you have a plane on your boat?
Varrick: In case the boat sinks, of course!
Asami: But there's no runway, how are we supposed to take off?
Varrick: Zhu Li! Take a note: "build runway".
Zhu Li: Yes, sir.
Varrick: In case the boat sinks, of course!
Asami: But there's no runway, how are we supposed to take off?
Varrick: Zhu Li! Take a note: "build runway".
Zhu Li: Yes, sir.
"In heaven's name — what am I doing?"
Wile E. Coyote sign, Looney Tunes
Apple Bloom: [after setting up a giant slingshot] Scootaloo, I know you have to go to Cloudsdale to finish your report. I'm just wonderin' if this is the best way to get there.
Scootaloo: It'll be fine. Besides, how else could I get there?
Apple Bloom: A Pegasus chariot?
Sweetie Belle: A flock of birds?
Apple Bloom: A hot-air balloon?
Scootaloo: Huh. Those do seem a lot safer. Maybe I should try to find another [slingshot snaps] waaaaaaaaayyyyyy!
Scootaloo: It'll be fine. Besides, how else could I get there?
Apple Bloom: A Pegasus chariot?
Sweetie Belle: A flock of birds?
Apple Bloom: A hot-air balloon?
Scootaloo: Huh. Those do seem a lot safer. Maybe I should try to find another [slingshot snaps] waaaaaaaaayyyyyy!
Luz: (fires warning shots at Hunter with his own Magic Staff) Back up, or...or else!
Hunter: Or else what? You gonna blast me to bits? (chuckles) Nah, you're too nice for that. By the way, uh-uh, you can't do that, either, because then you'll be leaving behind your precious palismen. You don't tend to think things through, do you human?
Hunter: Or else what? You gonna blast me to bits? (chuckles) Nah, you're too nice for that. By the way, uh-uh, you can't do that, either, because then you'll be leaving behind your precious palismen. You don't tend to think things through, do you human?
"I'm gonna chalk that up to poor planning."
—Dr. Doofenshmirtz (repeated line), Phineas and Ferb
Rigby: I used The Russian to get totally ripped! This is awesome! Now to go bust up my pull-up!
(Rigby tries to move off the sofa, only to realize his muscles are too heavy for him to do so, crushing it)
Rigby: My muscles are too heavy! I can't stand up!
Eileen: Oh, Rigby. There are no shortcuts to physical fitness.
(Rigby tries to move off the sofa, only to realize his muscles are too heavy for him to do so, crushing it)
Rigby: My muscles are too heavy! I can't stand up!
Eileen: Oh, Rigby. There are no shortcuts to physical fitness.
Principal Victoria: Why would we publish the lengths of our students' private parts?!
Eric Cartman: I don't know! Why would you?!
Principal Victoria: WE DIDN'T!
Cartman: Aw crap! You mean everyone knows my wiener is smaller than everyone else's because of me?!
Principal Victoria: This is exactly the kind of thing we are always talking about, Eric. You get angry about something, you don't think, and you cause bad things to happen. This time you've done it to yourself!
Eric Cartman: I don't know! Why would you?!
Principal Victoria: WE DIDN'T!
Cartman: Aw crap! You mean everyone knows my wiener is smaller than everyone else's because of me?!
Principal Victoria: This is exactly the kind of thing we are always talking about, Eric. You get angry about something, you don't think, and you cause bad things to happen. This time you've done it to yourself!
— South Park, "T.M.I.''
"But I... can't swim! Oh...! If I'd known being a lifeguard meant guarding their lives, I would never have said yes!!"
Mr. Krabs: Plankton! You knew I would never distrust a dollar!
Plankton: That's right, Krabs! Now hand over the Krabby Patty secret formula!
Mr. Krabs: Or what?
[Beat]
Plankton: ...I don't know. I never thought I'd get this far.
Mr. Krabs: Well, then, allow me to suggest your next move.
[Mr. Krabs flushes Plankton down a toilet]
Plankton: That's right, Krabs! Now hand over the Krabby Patty secret formula!
Mr. Krabs: Or what?
[Beat]
Plankton: ...I don't know. I never thought I'd get this far.
Mr. Krabs: Well, then, allow me to suggest your next move.
[Mr. Krabs flushes Plankton down a toilet]
"Coin-operated self-destruct. Not one of my better ideas."
— Plankton, SpongeBob SquarePants, "Imitation Krabs"
"Okay, maybe this is why Leo makes the plans."
Robin: Come on! You're puppets! You're supposed to do what I say!
Raven: Uh, yeah, but you're a puppet too.
Robin: Oh, right. I guess I didn't think this through too well. Maybe this was a bad idea.
Raven: Uh, yeah, but you're a puppet too.
Robin: Oh, right. I guess I didn't think this through too well. Maybe this was a bad idea.
Daffy Duck: You know, maybe this wasn't such a hot idea after all.
Casper: Good night, folks.
Casper: Good night, folks.
(Peter Sam has returned home after a painful accident when he was handling trucks that Sir Handel was supposed to be handling earlier that day; Sir Handel was Playing Sick to avoid working.)
Sir Handel: I'm sorry about your accident... I always stand well back. Trucks don't like me.
Peter Sam: Why didn't you warn me?!
Sir Handel: I didn't think—!
Sir Topham Hatt: (interjecting as he arrives) You never do. You can start thinking now while you're doing Peter Sam's work as well as your own. That'll teach you to pretend you're ill!
Sir Handel: I'm sorry about your accident... I always stand well back. Trucks don't like me.
Peter Sam: Why didn't you warn me?!
Sir Handel: I didn't think—!
Sir Topham Hatt: (interjecting as he arrives) You never do. You can start thinking now while you're doing Peter Sam's work as well as your own. That'll teach you to pretend you're ill!
— Thomas & Friends, "Trucks"
Havoc: You'll never guess what I just stole. No, wait. I'll give you some hints. It's big; it's fast; (sing-songy) it's something you've always wanted!
Hood: So you stole Thunderbird 3, did you?
Havoc: You said not to come back without anything good, and I got you a Thunderbird!
Hood: And what do you plan to do with it now? Fly around until the GDF catches up with you?
Havoc: I... uh...
Hood: Stealing a Thunderbird is easy, Havoc. But actually keeping it, that takes careful planning. You don't have a plan, do you?
Havoc: I just saw it there, and I couldn't help myself!
Hood: (sighs) I made a similar mistake once, and I regret it to this day. Now just do as I say, and we may just get away with this.
Hood: So you stole Thunderbird 3, did you?
Havoc: You said not to come back without anything good, and I got you a Thunderbird!
Hood: And what do you plan to do with it now? Fly around until the GDF catches up with you?
Havoc: I... uh...
Hood: Stealing a Thunderbird is easy, Havoc. But actually keeping it, that takes careful planning. You don't have a plan, do you?
Havoc: I just saw it there, and I couldn't help myself!
Hood: (sighs) I made a similar mistake once, and I regret it to this day. Now just do as I say, and we may just get away with this.
Otto: Mr. Whitney, why did you create an army of flesh eating robots?
Eli Whitney: I wanted to do something to help mankind!
Otto (confused): And... how is that helpful exactly?
Whitney (dumbfounded): UHH. Yeah. I guess I didn't think that one through too well.
Eli Whitney: I wanted to do something to help mankind!
Otto (confused): And... how is that helpful exactly?
Whitney (dumbfounded): UHH. Yeah. I guess I didn't think that one through too well.
"That's a great idea, except for one thing... Now that you've knocked the pilot unconscious, who's gonna fly the plane?"
— Sam, Totally Spies! ("Model Citizens")
Chameleon: Wait a minute. This is your plan!? You do realize that the laser's going to blow up the planet, right?
Snaptrap: Okay, where are you going with this, Chameleon?
Chameleon: I am not going- I am already there! This is a crazy plan! You haven't thought this through at all!
Ollie, Francisco, and Larry look down distraught
Ollie: (sighs) Welcome to D.O.O.M.
Snaptrap: Okay, where are you going with this, Chameleon?
Chameleon: I am not going- I am already there! This is a crazy plan! You haven't thought this through at all!
Ollie, Francisco, and Larry look down distraught
Ollie: (sighs) Welcome to D.O.O.M.
Real Life
"We started cleaning in the kitchen at 11 PM. [...] We were up cleaning and washing fryers, grills, everything until 2 AM. Then the chef gave me 20 paelleras, they were really moldy. He said: "Risitas! These can't be washed in the sink!" I said: "My spine hurts!" It hurt from the hunched back over washing all the pans and the silverware. Being 2 AM, the chef said: "Just go get some rest. Take those 20 paelleras [...], leave them by the shore and let the sea salt wash them." When I went there at 2 AM the tide was low. I did as he told me, I tied them up to a stick and left them there. [...] Next morning, the chef calls me up: "Risitas! Go get those paelleras, the customers will be here by 2 PM!" [...] When I returned to the beach, the tide rose! The tide had risen and I only found one paellera! I only found it because it was stuck between the rocks near the lighthouse! So I return to the restaurant and the chef sees me with my lone paellera, he asks me "Where are the 20 paelleras!?" "Go take a look outside and see how high the water is!" It was almost as high as the restaurant!"
— El Risitas's famous story about the paelleras