"Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it! Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... don't even think about it!... Don't...!"
When a character lives in a modern setting (for a certain value of modern, anyway), how do you show the audience or reader how quirky he or she is? Make that character an entertaining answering machine note or voicemail message for callers to hear! They're also good for showing the audience a hint of the character's personality. Compare Voicemail Confusion, Funny Phone Misunderstanding. Contrast Embarrassing Voicemail which derives its humor from the person leaving a message on the answering machine.
Examples:
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Anime & Manga
- Darker than Black uses November 11's answering machine in one episode, having him tell a joke while the person at the other end is waiting for the beep. It's used as an Orphaned Punchline, and surprisingly seems to be a bawdy joke as opposed to November 11's usual sense of humor.
- The dub of Yu-Gi-Oh! SEVENS turns Yuga’s invention, the “Crank Call-inator” into one of these.
Hi, you’ve reached the Ohdo household. There’s nobody here to answer the phone right now. Please leave a message after the beep, and a representative will get back to you in 7 billion years.
Comic Books
- The Casanova Wannabe in the German comic Rudi has one, where he's bringing a woman to orgasm. How the hell did he manage to make her agree with that?!
- The Unstoppable Wasp: Nadia is woken up by the ringing of Hank Pym's phone. Unable to find it in time, she hears a lengthy voicemail message including a preemptive redirection to the Avengers if there's some world-ending emergency, a preemptive apology to Janet, a preemptive refusal of whatever Scott Lang wants as he already owes Hank something like $50,000, and Hank accidentally setting the carpet on fire. Again.
Comic Strips
- Parodied in Calvin and Hobbes. Calvin once picked up the phone and said, "Hello, we are unable to come to the phone right now, so please leave a message at the sound of the 'click'." and hung up.
- Candorville: Lemont's answering machine always identifies the caller, usually "Mom" or "creditor." To the latter, he tends to mention his lack of funds. To the former, he's painfully self-effacing and apologetic for not living up to her expectations.
- Citizen Dog: Mel and Fergus try this, but end up arguing over it instead.
- One early Dilbert strip has him leaving a girl a message asking her out on a date. Her answering machine says "If you're calling to take me to Paris, press 1. If you're offering to take me to a crappy movie, press 2."
- Cue Dilbert pressing '2' and saying "I've got a bad feeling about this..."
- In FoxTrot Jason is quite fond on these. Some include;
- A message offering the number of the insane asylum to anyone calling for Paige.
- A message telling someone leaving a message for Paige to press "666."
- Bringing the machine up to the shower to record Roger singing in the shower.
- Recording himself singing "A million bottles of beer on the wall...", leaving his parents wondering why they have no messages again.
- The original version of the strip had Jason informing callers they dialed the "Satan Hotline".
- Informing the caller they've reached the "Jason Fox Hotline, your 24 hour source for all things Jason" and then a lengthy description of his day, leaving Roger wondering why everyone sounds so grouchy on the machine.
- Paige has also done this on occasion, usually when she's trying to get a date for whatever upcoming social event is happening.
- An early Frazz Sunday strip has Frazz and the kids recording a song with some nonsense instructions for the caller.
- "Hi, this is Suzy. I'm not at home, but please leave a message at the tone... Unless you're Jon Arbuckle, in which case the machine will automatically hung up."
- An episode of Garfield and Friends had a message where Jon was being assaulted by Garfield and Odie while recording.
- An actual strip (April 27, 2008) has Liz call and hear him fighting with Garfield in the recording (and it's implied that he'd JUST been recording it a short while before). As in the The Kids in the Hall example, she likes it and says it's funny.
- In Zits, Jeremy Duncan makes a message where he simply farts into the phone: "Leave a message at the sound of the 'frap'." And in an early strip, "You have reached the number you called. Blah, blah, blah. If you actually need further instructions, well, that's just pathetic."
Fan Works
- Cat Tales: Joker's answering machine message is the same as in Batman: The Animated Series... meaning it's less funny and more disturbing. And Ivy hates it.
Joker: (laughs) Boy, did you get a wrong number. Leave your message at the sound of the shriek.
Man's voice: No! Please! Don't! (shrieks)
Films — Animated
- Brave: When Merida and Queen Elinor, who has been transformed into a bear, visit the witch's hut, they find she is not there but has a hologram from her cauldron in the style of an answering machine.
- Shrek 2: When contacting the Fairy Godmother, they get a prerecorded message that begins with her saying Is This Thing On?
Films — Live-Action
- In Eyes of Laura Mars, the models Michele and Lulu chorus, "This is Lulu and Michele. We're not home, so go to hell. But if you're not a horny creep, then leave a message when you hear the beep."
- In How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000), the Grinch sees he has no messages and checks his outgoing: "If you utter so much as one syllable I'll hunt you down and gut you like a fish! If you'd like to fax me, press the Star key!"
- Hilariously subverted in L.A. Story, in which Steve Martin answers the phone in a pitch perfect parody of an answering machine message:
Harrison: Hi, this is Harrison. I'm home right now, so you can talk to me after the beep. *beep*
Sara: [very confused] ...hello? - In Loaded Weapon 1:
Answering Machine: You've reached the desk of Sgt. Wes Luger. Please leave a message after the beep.
Billy: Yeah, Wes? It's me, Billy.
Answering Machine: Hey! I said after the beep! - Meet the Fockers has Greg calling his parents and getting the machine, which includes the standard message and then his parents yelling about how to turn the recorder off.
- Played with in MouseHunt, where Nathan Lane's character has an answering machine prompt that consists entirely of, "When ya hear the beep, start talkin'."
- In the Sam Raimi Spider-Man Trilogy, MJ's voicemail says, "Hi! Sing your song at the beep!"
- The beginning of Still Smokin features Cheech's long and funny answering machine message before Chong tells him they need to catch the plane to Amsterdam.
- The Terminator: "Hi! [Beat] Ha-ha, fooled you, you're talking to a machine!" The last time we hear this message, Sarah Connor really is talking to a machine as the Terminator has just killed her roommate who made the message.
- The crafting of a funny message is the source of great angst in the short film "This Is John"
by the Duplass Brothers.
Live-Action TV
- In Alice (1976), Alice gets an answering machine and someone makes a death threat against her on it.
- Bones's voicemail reminds the audience that this is not Temperance Brennan, but a recording of her.
- Les Boys: When Méo tries to call Fernand on his cellphone in the 24-inspired episode, he ends up listening to Fern's answering machine. However, Fern's message on the machine starts with him telling the caller to make their call as brief as the 1977 Stanley Cup Finals, only for Fern to immediately follow it up with a long story about those finals and Scotty Bowman (the Montreal Canadiens' coach in '77). When the message is still not over after nearly a minute, Méo has enough and decides to hang up.
- Breaking Bad:
- Jesse Pinkman's answering machine greeting:
YO YO YO 1-4-8 3 TO THE 3 TO THE 6 TO THE 9, REPRESENTIN' THE ABQ, WHADDUP, BI-ATCH?! Leave it at the tone.note
- Jane's also qualifies:
Hi, I'm not home right now. If you're trying to sell me something, I've got four little words for you: "Do Not Call List." If you're cool, leave it at the beep.
- Jesse Pinkman's answering machine greeting:
- In the Season 2 finale of Caroline in the City, Caroline calls Richard to confess that she's in love with him, and when she hears him say "Hello," she assumes he's answered the phone. She is cut off after a few words with "Actually it's a machine, but aren't we all?" Caroline mutters that the usually grumpy Richard has picked a fine time to develop a sense of humour.
- Cheers:
- One episode involves Sam's message, which sounds like him answering the phone, then a long pause, followed by "Just kidding. You got my machine." Diane calls Sam before her wedding to Frasier, hoping Sam is on a plane on his way to stop the wedding. When she thinks he has answered, she hangs up in disgust without hearing the rest, and thus doesn't know that Sam is on his way.
- Another episode's teaser plays Woody's outgoing message, which Sam says (in the message) is stupid. The caller is revealed to be Woody, who now agrees that the message is stupid.
- In one episode of Chuck, Chuck calls Casey and gets the following message:
This is Casey. Hrmmm. [BEEP]
- In Community, the end of one episode provides a little present for all the Kevins out there:
George Takei: Hi, Kevin can't come to the phone. He's on a spaceship with me, George Takei. Please leave a message.
- One episode of Criminal Minds has a guy (played by Frankie Muniz) compulsively calling his girlfriend's cellphone, and getting the message "Hello, I cannot answer right now because I'm busy living my life!". He keeps getting increasingly exasperated that she doesn't answer, and a flashback reveals that he suggested the message to her (as he's some successful comic writer/artist). Then it turns out she was murdered a while ago, he has the phone (in silence) and his insistence on calling is part of the denial/psychosis he's suffering. He didn't kill her, mind you; he's hunting down the gang that did.
- Hey, this is Drake & Josh! Leave your name and...blah, blah, blah, blah...
- In one episode of Everybody Hates Chris, Julies buys an old reel-to-reel answering machine for the house phone, but no one leaves any messages because Rochelle's voice sounds completely different when played back. Eventually Drew takes over and leaves this message, "(beatbox) Hey this is Master Drew, and I'm not home! So just call me back on the telephone!"
- In the Family Ties episode "Teacher's Pet," Alex records an answering machine message that plays a fanfare every time he says his own name. Later, Mallory and Jennifer record another message that says, "If you're calling for either one of us or our parents, please leave a message after the beep. If you're calling for Alex, he doesn't live here anymore, and we don't know where he lives."
- In Frasier, Niles and Daphne's answering machine consists of them singing a duet to the tune of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony ("No-bo-dy's hooooooome, no-bo-dy's hoooooooome....")
- Friends:
- If Joey and Chandler's answering machine isn't enough ("Here comes the beep, you know what to do" - since it doesn't say who it is, allowed Chandler to date a woman who called the wrong number), Ross attempted one that made the duo groan ("[stomp, stomp, clap!] We will, we will, call you back!").
- When Rachel and Phoebe were sharing an apartment, they made a couple of attempts to record a message with alternating words. During the first attempt, the message is "Hi, it's Rachel and Phoebe, please leave a message", but Phoebe complains about being stuck saying "it's", "and", "please", and "a". So she insists on going first - and Rachel changes the message to "Hi everybody, it's Rachel and Phoebe, please leave a message", so that she gets all the "good" words again.
- One message said, "You've reached Monica and Chandler's. If you're hearing this message, we're probably screening." While it's playing, we see Chandler reading a newspaper. "Yeah, we are."
- Good Omens (2019): Even in 2019, the demon Crowley keeps an antique answering machine in his London flat. Its message:
"Hi, this is Antony Crowley. You know what to do, do it with style."
- House at one time had a very convincing "this number has been disconnected" recording for his answering machine.
- How I Met Your Mother plays with this trope a few times. On one occasion, Barney and Robin record a corny duet as part of a bet. On another, Lily starts talking to her dad, learns he wants $5,000 in bail, and starts pretending to be one of these.
- A The Kids in the Hall sketch revolves around a couple trying to record their outgoing message. The wife wants a simple, straightforward message while the husband wants something clever. While attempting to record their message, they have an argument while the tape is still running. A friend calls in and hears their message, which contains the argument. The caller laughs and congratulates the couple on creating their funniest message yet.
- When Last Week Tonight with John Oliver created a fake church to mock excessive spending by megachurch pastors, they set up a phone line, 1-800-THIS-IS-LEGAL. note The answering machine used by the line started out normally, before devolving into Oliver yelling at the caller to donate money.
- Marvel Cinematic Universe:
- To promote Jessica Jones (2015) season two, Marvel Studios posted the name and phone number of Jessica's detective agency online. People who dialed the number would hear this greeting, recorded in-character by star Krysten Ritter:
Jessica Jones: Alias Investigations. We've got cases and shit, so leave a message.
- On the other hand, The Defenders (2017) shows Jessica's answering machine message is her gruffly barking "Wrong number. *BEEP*" because she's avoiding taking cases.
- To promote Jessica Jones (2015) season two, Marvel Studios posted the name and phone number
- In one episode of Mama's Family, Mama gets an answering machine and each person's attempt to record an outgoing message reflects their personality: Iola does it in a drab monotone, Naomi does it in a sexy, seductive voice with a kiss at the end (Mama: "It's supposed to be a phone message, not foreplay!"), Bubba shows off by doing it Elvis-style, and Vint just describes the machine on his message. They finally settle on Mama's short but not-so-sweet "It's your dime, spill it!"
- "Hello. This is Adrian... Monk. Thank you for calling my new answering machine. When you hear the beep noise, please speak into the telephone receiver and leave a message, which I will play back and listen to later. This is the end of the message, and here is the beep I was talking about." [BEEP]note
- In My Name Is Earl, when Earl and Randy move into an actual apartment, Randy buys an answering machine with a recording of a Mr. T impersonator.
- Inverted with Gibbs in NCIS, reinforcing his nature as The Quiet One. (Of course, the fact that it's so terse and unfunny makes it hilarious.)
"Gibbs. Speak."
- In One Day at a Time (1975), the family is going away for a Christmas vacation so they borrow an answering machine for the duration. The girls decide to record their greeting to the tune of "Silent Night".
Leave your number when you hear the bee-ee-eep
U-unless you are a creep - Radio Enfer: Carl recorded the message on the answering machine in the radio's room, resulting in what follows:
Carl: You have reached the radio's room, but we cannot answer. Maria is primping herself in the washroom, Camille is trying to grow up, Jean-Lou still hasn't understood how the phone works, and I am recording this message.
- Not always funny, but in The Rockford Files, Jim Rockford's message machine — an audio Couch Gag in the credits — is the introduction to every episode, often leaving the audience with an idea of either the trouble Jim is up to or the personality of Jim's new client.
- Sabrina the Teenage Witch (1996): Salem's latest attempt to call Paula Abdul gets him "Leave a message and I'll get back to you. If this is that weird guy Salem, stop weeping into my phone!" Salem proceeds to do just that.
- A Saturday Night Live skit features a man distressed that his answering machine message makes him sound effeminate. So he re-records it... only to sound even more so. He proceeds to repeat his actions over and over again, only for the message to sound more and more stereotypically gay no matter how manly he tries to sound, including things he hadn't even said such as "whoo-hoo!" and "girlfriend".
Larry: [re-records his message, but forcing his voice to sound deep and rough] Hi, this is Larry Henderson! Leave a message! Thanks!
Larry's Message: Hi, this Lawrence H., I'm not here. Why is your tired ass calling me, anyway? Oh, well! Leave a message, and it best not be shady! Thanks, girl!
Larry: I didn't say ANY of that! - George's classic message from Seinfeld, sung to the tune of the theme from The Greatest American Hero.
- Carrie Bradshaw's message in Sex and the City has variations of "Hi. I'm shoe shopping".
- Sisters: After Teddy's (the second-oldest sister) husband is killed, we see her sitting alone in their bedroom, repeatedly listening to their answering machine message, which includes him mock-angrily demanding that callers leave them alone, since they're newlyweds.
- Supernatural:
- The voicemail of Castiel: You have reached the voice mail of [Castiel: I don't understand. Why do you want me to say my name?] [sound of numbers being pressed] [beep]
- Dean's message is terse: "Leave your name, number, and nightmare at the tone."
- Dean has multiple phones so one of his messages is "this is Dean's other, other phone, so you must know what to do."
- Likewise, Bobby Singer has a number of phones so he can impersonate an FBI office or other authority for the Hunters. His actual number has a curt: "This is Bobby Singer's direct hotline. You should not have this number."
- Torchwood: Gwen and Rhys' answering machine message in "Combat" is amusing, a complete contrast to the serious message that Gwen leaves Rhys regarding her frequent departures and absences from his life.
Gwen: Leave a message for Gwen and Rhys, and we'll call you back.Rhys: If we remember.Gwen: Oi!
- In a sketch on the The Tracey Ullman Show, Tracey played a single girl whose recorded calls all indicated that her answering machine message made her sound sick or depressed (one, a wrong number, referred her to a suicide hotline). In response, Tracey hired a studio band and recorded an elaborate message to the tune of "Something's Coming" from West Side Story. When she came home the next day and eagerly prepared to listen to her messages, all she received was a long line of beeps, indicating that the callers had gotten fed up waiting for the song to end and hung up.
- Will & Grace used to do these all the time. When the phone rang and they listened to one of them, Will said, "I hate us so much right now." Apparently, they make them when drunk.
Music
- Cheech & Chong have a song, "I'm Not Home Right Now", where Chong calls Cheech about a gig. At first it sounds like Cheech answers the phone, only to go a song instead: "I'm not home right now, leave a message when you hear the tone..."
- When Iron Maiden re-released their singles, drummer Nicko McBrain had hilarious tracks commenting on the songs (among other things). At the end of each, he imitates an answering machine.
Professional Wrestling
- On WWE Raw, Shawn Michaels doesn't show up one night, so Triple H decides to call his cell phone and ends up getting his voicemail.
Radio
- Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me has the promise of this trope as a prize. If a contestant wins, they'll get radio personality Carl Kasell's voice on their home answering machine. What kinds of thing do they make him say? Well, find someone who knows someone who's won the game to find out.
- You can hear a few samples here.
- You can hear a few samples here
Roleplay
- A variation from Dawn of a New Age: Oldport Blues, where there isn't an actual answering machine, but Hyeon makes a joke in the style of one after he's put through the ringer:
"Hyeon isn't available at the moment, if you'd like to leave a message, leave it at the beep. [Beat] Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep oh god."
Theatre
- RENT has Mark and Roger saying, "speeeeeaak" together in a bored tone.
Video Games
- Richard Gray of Grim Tales and Detectives United is a ghost bound inside his own skull. (It Makes Sense in Context, at least as much as that concept ever could.) The skull sits on the inventory bar, and when he wants to say something, it lights up and shakes to prompt the player to click on it. However, clicking on it when it's not doing that may result in a supernatural version of this trope:
"Hello, Richard Gray here. I can't come out of the skull right now. Please call again later."
- Jagged Alliance 2 has a number in the recruitment menu with a few examples:
Buns: You have reached my video voice mail, please leave me a message. And Gumpy, if this is you, leave me a message like the last one, I will send you a reply that explodes on impact. I am not kidding.
Steroid: "Robert Gontarski is ummm... UNAVOIDABLE right now. Tell me who you are and what you want and maybe I put him in touch with you, maybe not."
Fox: You've reached Cynthia Guzzman. I'm kind of... -giggle- tied up at the moment, but leave me a message and I'll call you. If you would rather not hear from me, breathe heavily. Just once.
Fidel: How this thing work? Fidel no here now... OK, I am here now, but I no be here when you get message, because if I here, you no get message, you get Fidel... One thing for sure, Fidel like to kill. And Fidel like money.
Malice: Hello dere. Single, white, French-Canadian guy looking for married, Black, English girl dat, uh, oh, uh, bad message. Leave me somet'ing, I get it back to you. - Lammy's answering machine message in Um Jammer Lammy is so long that she has time to run down some flights of stairs, run back up to her apartment, turn off all of the appliances she had accidentally left on, give her stuffed panda a kiss, and race back out the door.
- In The Wolf Among Us, Beauty and the Beast have an answering machine that says (at considerable length and in an incredibly over-the-top happy tone) that they can't come to the phone right now because they're out having a great time. Considering they're neck-deep in debt to a loan shark they're trying to avoid, the message is not only Blatant Lies, but when the enforcer harassing them is finally able to leave his own message, the first thing he does is threaten dire repercussions if he has to listen to it one more time.
Web Originals
- This website.
- Almost Real Life example: This message for a school needs to be heard to believe.
- Homestar Runner: Marzipan's Answering Machine is mostly about the funny calls she gets, but some of her answering machine messages can be pretty unusual, too. Some examples:
Marzipan: Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm out doing some very important things, so please leave me a message, and if this is Strong Bad calling to prank call me, can you please do the one where I win the radio contest? 'Cause that one's my favorite. Okay. Bye.
Marzipan: Hi guys! Leave me a message, and I'll leave you with an abstract thought. Is a penguin a bird or a duck? - Kickassia:
- At the start, That Chick with the Goggles has a The Tape Knew You Would Say That-style outgoing message that tricks The Nostalgia Critic into having a conversation with it. An unrelated video on the site years later reveals that's still her outgoing message.
- Sean Fausz's answering machine copies George's classic message from Seinfeld (see the Live-Action TV folder).
- Nobody Here: In "Answer", Jogchem uses the voicemail message to tell the caller that they got the number wrong, since he never gets any calls from anyone.
"This is the answering machine of some other guy. You must have dialed the wrong number. Please leave your apologies after the beep."
- SCP Foundation: SCP-361 is an Etruscan artifact resembling a divining liver. If you put an actual sheep liver on it you get the following message:
Welcome to HarusCo! Your sacrifice is very important to us! For Tinia the Thunderer, please perform a horizontal incision on the offering. For Aita of the Underworld, please perform a vertical incision. For Maris, lightly cover your offering with the ash of a dead warrior related to you by blood.
- Scream of the Shalka reveals that the Doctor (and robot Master)'s answerphone message ends "we will get back to you before you call". Also, by the sound of it, the Master was somehow making the Doctor giggle while he recorded it...
Western Animation
- From the first episode of Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, when Dr. Robotnik tries to call Grounder, who is in pieces:
Grounder: The robot you have reached has been discomboobulated [sic], and the hedgehog you were chasing got away.
- A recurring gag in Archer is that characters will call Archer and start talking only to realize that it's just one of his elaborate and obnoxious voice mail messages.
- Reaches its peak in the Season 5 episode "The Rules of Extraction." Archer programs his voicemail to trigger a rave in the Tunt mansion, complete with laser-light show and a techno remix of "The mail box of A-A-Archer, A-A-Archer is full." Not even Krieger knows how he pulled that one off.
- The Joker has one in Batman: The Animated Series. Naturally, it's also disturbing.
Joker: (laughs) Boy, did you get a wrong number. Leave your message at the sound of the shriek.
Man's voice: No! Please! Don't! (shrieks) - BoJack Horseman:
- Both Herb Kazzaz and Diane had the outgoing, "You know what to do."
- In season three, when BoJack attempts to reach out to his publicist after he failed a get an Oscar nomination, the outgoing machine says, "This is Ana Spanakopita. How did you get this number???"
- Hollyhock's outgoing is, "Leave a message... if you're old."
- Family Guy
- In the second Star Wars special, Luke (Chris) tries to call Han (Peter) to tell him that he's going to the Dagobah System.
Han: Hello?
Luke: Alright, so I'm going to the Dagobah Sys—
Han: I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
Luke: (louder) I said I'm going to the Dagobah—
Han: I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to speak up.
Luke: (screaming) I said I'm going to the—
Han: Haha! It's a machine! - There is also a Cutaway Gag based on the real-life Crazy Calls novelty answering machine tapes.
Voicemail: [rapping] I'm glad you called, but I'm not home
But I'll be back before too long
You gotta leave your name
You gotta leave your number
You gotta leave a message
Wait for the beep!
[Beep!]
Peter: It's me again! I just wanted to heart that one more time!
- In the second Star Wars special, Luke (Chris) tries to call Han (Peter) to tell him that he's going to the Dagobah System.
- Filmation's Ghostbusters has Ansabone, a sentient answering machine which tries to answer the phone before the 'Busters can, and even tries to play keep-away with them. Examples of his "wit":
You've reached the Ghostbusters. They went for a long walk...off a short pier!
Sorry, the Ghostbusters can't come to the phone. They're out to lunch—permanently!
If you're trying to reach the Ghostbusters, it's a poor reflection on you! - In a 2-minute short for Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Bloo and the gang try to make one of these, but it fails when Madame Foster overloads the electricity before they could press the save button.
- Futurama:
- In "Jurassic Bark", on New Year's Day 2000, when Fry's father attempts to call him, he gets the message, "This is Fry. If you're calling about the used towels, they're still available for $45 each."
- In "T: The Terrestrial", Fry has a rather long and convoluted one, which Bender uses to hide the fact that Bender left Fry behind.
"Hello, it's me, Fry. I'm not here right now 'cause we're out getting drunk at the Ah-Love Garden. So just leave. A message for myself or Bender after the tone. See you."
- In Gravity Falls, during The Stinger of the episode 'Dipper vs. Manliness', where Grunkle Stan keeps receiving obsessive voicemails from a local diner waitress who keeps calling to say hello and getting her cats to do the same, much to Stan's horror.
- In the My Little Pony: Equestria Girls special, Spring Breakdown, we hear this beauty from Rainbow Dash's voicemail:
"What up, nerds? It's Rainbow Dash having way too much fun being awesome to answer your call! So leave a message, if you're too old to text me!"
- The Owl House: In "Through the Looking Glass Ruins", Gus somehow got a reluctant King to record his outgoing message.
King: I'm not reading this.
Gus: Come on, King, please?
King: Ugh, fine. (clears throat)
Is that a six-footed pig or a floating appendage?
Why, no! It's Gus the Illusion Master! Please leave a message. - Phineas and Ferb:
- In "Out of Toon", Candace tries to call her mom Linda to report Phineas and Ferb's latest crazy scheme, and discovers Linda has a new voice-mail message:
Linda: (on voice mail) Hi! This is Mom. Leave your psychotic rant about the boys when you hear the beep. (beep)
Candace: Mom, come home quick! There's a giant mob, I'm a super fiend, I'm roasting them with laser vision, and— Hey! What do you mean, "psychotic rant"?! - She later changed it by "Hawaiian Vacation", as discovered by the unnamed hotel manager:
"Hello, you've reached Linda Flynn-Fletcher. And if this is Candace, I'm sure whatever the boys are doing is nothing."
- In "We Call It Maze", Doof's outgoing is, "Hello. You've reached Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. I'm not here right now. Or am I? (maniacal laughter) Oh, and if you're calling about the piano, it's already been sold."
- In "Out of Toon", Candace tries to call her mom Linda to report Phineas and Ferb's latest crazy scheme, and discovers Linda has a new voice-mail message:
- In Pinky and the Brain episode "TV or Not TV", when the Brain is expecting a phone call:
Woman's Voice: You have reached Acme Labs. We are temporarily closed due to massive budget cuts, which basically put us all out on the streets!
- In Regular Show, Rigby sets his voicemail message as if he's answering the call, only to yell "PSYCH!" and then tell the caller that he's unavailable.
- Rick and Morty: In the episode, "The ABCs of Beth", The Stinger has Jerry's answering machine that resolves the loose ends with his subplot and ends with the person he bought it from telling him that he'll ignore the late fee since answering machines are outdated and only used for exposition in television shows.
- In the Rocko's Modern Life episode "Seat to Stardom," Heffer tries calling Rocko's house but gets his answering machine, which the outgoing message starts with Rocko saying "Hello?" as if he were really answering the phone. After a few seconds of silence, he says "This is Rocko," and goes into a typical answering machine greeting, fooling whoever is calling. Later, when Rocko tries calling Heffer back, Heffer intentionally does not answer, resulting in his answering machine to play an outgoing message: "At the sound of the tone, please leave a message, unless you're a Wedgie Boy and have no time for your friends."
- The Simpsons:
- One episode has Homer and Marge buying a book about trying to invoke this trope, and end up trying to record a message together while reading out of it. It sort of goes without saying, but it ends up being So Unfunny, It's Funny.
- A season 2 episode has Homer calling Barney for bail, and initially gets an answering machine message sung to the tune of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.
- Super Duper Sumos: The first half of Prima's voicemail message is normal, but the second half is "If you're calling to complain about the Super Duper Sumos, then you've reached Ernest Hemingway, acclaimed author of To Have and Have Not, and...I have no idea what you're talking about."
- T.U.F.F. Puppy episode "Freaky Spy-Day" has Kitty's attempt at making an outgoing.
Kitty: You've reached agent Kitty Katswell. (smashing sound) Dudley, you broke my lamp! I'm recording my message! Be quiet!
Dudley: The Chief did it!
Chief: I did not!
Kitty: Just leave a message at the beep.
Real Life
- During the 1990s, when answering machines came down in price and became more common in American households, several companies released novelty answering machine greetings. Standard comedy skits and parodies of famous characters were used in greetings, in lieu of the standard, "Hello, you've reached Alice and Bob; we're not able to answer now, so please leave a message and we'll call back as soon as possible." Popular for a time, many people soon found the dull-but-tried-and-true greetings worked best and gave the most favorable impression.
- In his column Hell and Back describing his slide into clinical depression after Hurricane Katrina, Chris Rose wrote:
I changed the message on my phone to say: "This is Chris Rose. I am emotionally unavailable at the moment. Please leave a message."
I thought this was hilarious. Most of my friends picked it up as a classic cry for help. - Anyone who has worked in a call center likely has many stories of these. Remember when making your voicemail: random strangers asking for money will hear it.
- Baseball great Will Clark had B.B. King's "The Thrill Is Gone" on his answering machine. (He was known as Will "The Thrill" Clark.)
- Vincent Martella has gone on record as having recorded his family's answering machine message in character as Phineas Flynn, which has caused several sound only Double Takes.