
Bart Simpson's Guide to Life is a tie-in book to The Simpsons released in 1993. Written from the perspective of Bart Simpson, this self-help book provides advice, tips and important knowledge on daily issues such as cheating, dinner table manners, and romance. However, as it's Bart Simpson, this advice is not meant to be followed.
Tropes in this book:
- Anti-Role Model: None of the stuff said by Bart in the book, such as getting out of chores, having nasty table manners, and cheating in class, are meant to be followed.
- Are We There Yet?: One of the ways to drive your parents nuts according to the book is to "Ask 'Are we there yet?' every 30 seconds", accompanied by an illustration of the Simpsons kids annoying Homer by saying "Are We There Yet?" endlessly.
- Complexity Addiction: "How to Stay up Past Your Bedtime" has many paths to avoid bedtime, although the game itself can be won in as little as three moves: Start, Throw a tantrum, Get put to bed with a spanking, Finish or Start, Ask for glass or water, Get put to bed, Finish.
- Delivery Stork: The section "Babies: Where From They Come?" is illustrated by an elderly-looking stork dropping an infant Bart up in the sky. The section also shows that Sherri and Terri believe that storks deposit babies down the chimney.
- Early Adaptation Weirdness: Due to being printed early on, it's in spades.
- Janey and Judge Snyder are depicted as yellow rather than black.
- Principal Skinner is mentioned as having a toupee, which was an idea thrown around early in the shows' existence.
- "Getting Ready for Bed" Plot: The "How to Stay up Past Your Bedtime" game is designed to defy this trope by inviting players to do whatever is necessary to stay up late.
- Girls Have Cooties: One section is dedicated to the cooties, with girls like Sherri and Terri depicted as "dangerous cootie transmitters". It is reassured that once the reader hits puberty, they won't be susceptible to cooties, although they are at risk of stuff like acne.
- Human Notepad: One of Bart's tips for cheating in an exam is through crib notes, and he recommends writing on wrists and forearms amongst other places.
- Kids Hate Chores: One section is dedicated to ways of getting out of work according to 10-year-old Bart, such as not lingering too long after a meal and faking an interest in reading.
- Mr. Seahorse: Barney, when asked where babies come from.Barney: Oh my God! Am I pregnant again?!
- Off-Model: Janey is depicted with a yellow rather than black skin tone.
- Press X to Die: In "How to Stay up Past Your Bedtime", one of the spaces that leads to Finish reads: "Parents carry you to bed." You can instead prolong the game by pretending you're sleepwalking.
- Rube Goldberg Device: "The Ultimate Christmas Eve Trap" is designed as one of these, involving a chain reaction with matches, popcorn, and a magnifying glass amongst other things, with the intention of photographing Santa.
- Seven Deadly Sins: "7 Deadly Sins" features the Devil quizzing the reader on how much they embody each sin — the closer they represent, the more likely they are to go to Hell. Each sin is accompanied by an illustration of Homer embodying it, such as sleeping at work (sloth) and choking Bart (Anger).
- Show-and-Tell Antics: Bart provides a list of possible items to bring to show and tell, including rotten milk, potato chips in the shape of celebrities, baby teeth, the actual baby, the father's giant pair of underpants, and an invisible friend.
- Silly Brain Diagram:
- Included is a map of Marge's and Homer's brains with corresponding sections that have contrasting labels. For instance, the section in Marge's brain that reads "each and every family member's sizes, birthday, allergies and food preferences" corresponds to the one in Homer's labeled "each and every family member's name." The same section in both brains is labeled "sex," but the one in Homer's takes up much more room. Both of them, however, devote the same amount of room to "what's on TV?."
- One section has Dr. Marvin Monroe explain the three type of brains using this diagram as well: the Left-Brainer has brain sections such as "Economics" and "Real Estate Law", the Right-Brainer has "Poetry" and "Shapes" as brain sections and the No-Brainer has brain sections such as "What?" and "Huh?". They all three, for different reasons arrive to the same conclussion upon seeing Bart: "Hey, you! Get off of my lawn!"
- Spiteful Gluttony: In a segment on table manners, the book advises readers to eat as much as possible to prevent their siblings from getting anything. This is apparently accomplished by keeping chewing to a minimum and forcing everything down with lots of carbonated water.
- The Talk: When Bart poses the question to Marge regarding where babies come from, Marge notably gets embarrassed and tells Bart to wait until Homer gets home. When Bart asks the question to Homer, Homer responds by telling Bart to ask Marge.
- The Twelve Spoofs of Christmas: "The 12 Days of Xmas" features a variant of the Twelve Days of Christmas, featuring Bart getting stuff like twelve million dollars, eleven zombies lurching, and ten cobras spitting.
- Underwater Fart Gag: Referenced in The Fine Art of Bathing section:Can you make bubbles in the tub without using your mouth or nose? It's easier than you think!
