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Little Guy
- Voiced by: AT&T Mike
The protagonist of the show and self-proclaimed king of 123 Greeny Phatom.
- Anti-Hero: Little Guy may act like a jerk sometimes, but he's good enough to throw a party.
- Disproportionate Retribution: He has been known to threaten his friend's lives.
- Politically Incorrect Hero: Little Guy has been shown to have a disliking for Russians.
- Small Name, Big Ego: He's the king of 123 Greeny Phatom (or so he claims).
Dr. Beanson
- Voiced by: Speakonia Peter, Robert Stainton (in the spinoff named after him)
The only sane man of the town of 123 Greeny Phatom.
- Catchphrase: "Hello, I'm Dr. Beanson. The one of a kind soldier that brings you this message", even has variants.
- Only Sane Man: Probably the closest thing this show has to a completely sane character, blaming on Little Guy for his salty behaviors and enjoying serene things.
Santed Sailor
- Voiced by: Robert Stainton
The apparent villain of the show.
- Catchphrase: "Have a shippy, shippy, shippy, shippy day!"
Doctor
- Voiced by: Robosoft Three
The infamous singer of Russian songs.
- Gratuitous Foreign Language: When he sings, he is this without any doubt.