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Rose Lalonde

The Only Sane Man of the kids group. For whatever reason, recently the world experienced an event she calls "the Corruption", which, in her view, completely ruined the universe, and therefore strives to make it "normal" again. Her Chumhandle is testacleTheorist [TT] and her Land is the Land of Light and Froges (sic).

Known to others as Roze Lallonk.

• Adaptational Badass: While her original class, Seer of Light, was notable for the class and the aspect matching up extremely well, here she is a Lord of Space. The lord is a master class that stands head and shoulders above normal ones, and space is one of the two most fundamental aspects of Sburb. To put this into context, the canon characters with a similar classpect are Caliborn and Calliope. Caliborn grows up to be Lord English and Alt. Calliope destroys the Green Sun.
• Eldritch Abomination: From the perspective of the corrupted characters, she seems like one, being more intelligent than any of them, acting with a system of morality they can't comprehend, aiming to reshape the entire universe into something alien to them, and as it turns out, being a Nigh Indestructible non-human entity with the purpose of exterminating a species.
• Flat "What": Rose’s response to Hecka Jef telling her "a mothn ago we took dabe to washigon to live with jhon, his new daddy".
• Heroic BSoD: Learning that she was corrupted as a baby causes her to freak out.
• Knight Templar: In her quest to return the world to "normal", she doesn't care that it would also destroy the corrupted characters and their world. For all the corrupted characters know, "Roze" suddenly started talking differently and decided she wanted to replace them all just because they don't look or act like her. As it turns out, they're right.
• Known by Corrupted Name: Corrupted characters nigh-universally call her by her corrupted name, Roze.
• Lust Object: Jhon wants to have s*x with her.
• My New Gift Is Lame: She receives a kidney as a gift from Jhon. Naturally, she doesn’t like it very much.
• Only Sane by Comparison: Rose initially snarks at the shenanigans of the uncorrupted characters, but being surrounded by a bunch of barely coherent, poorly drawn, sex-obsessed parodies of her former friends slowly causes her to see them less like people, and she makes it her ultimate mission to return her world to normal, no matter the cost.
• Uniformity Exception: Rose is the only Beta Kid unaffected by Stylistic Suck.

Jack Noir

A Dersite Agent who is the only uncorrupted carapacian on Durst. He joins forces with Roze after learning she's not affected by Stylistic Suck.

Known to others as Jagk Nore.

• Even Evil Has Standards:
  • Played for Laughs when he refuses to stab his knife with his other knife.
  You would never hurt an innocent knife. Or a guilty one, such as your own, for that matter.
  • Played a little bit straighter later when he realizes he asked the other agents to assassinate Rose's friends, he tries to call it off... because he doesn't want to upset someone as powerful as Rose and lose their alliance.
• Heel–Face Turn: Becomes allies with Rose after they both discover that the other is sane.
• Known by Corrupted Name: Corrupted characters always call him his corrupted name, Jagk Nore.
• Pragmatic Villainy: While he still retains his bloodthirsty personality, he's pragmatic enough to form an alliance with Rose (who he'd normally try to kill) after discovering she's uncorrupted like him.
• Uniformity Exception: Jack is one of the few characters (and the only Carapacian) unaffected by Stylistic Suck.

Jhon Ebgret

a farely aberage boy livving in sup urban Washigon with dad and its the birthday. His Chumhandle is echoBiologest [EB] and his Land is the Land of Dollers (sic) and Danger.

• Ax-Crazy.
  • Jhon asks his dad to give him a hand. He does. Literally.
  • Jhon builds a roller coaster in his back yard and makes it deliberately faulty. He explicitly states making it crash is what makes it fun in the first place.
  • Jhon has no qualms with using Swet Bro's dead body as a crashpad to break his fall.
  • Jhon takes a selfie with the severed finger of Swet Bro, before casually remarking that he killed him when Dabe asks why the rest of Swet Bro’s body is not attached.
• Decoy Protagonist: Even though he's the first character we see and the main character of the original Homestuck, this is primarily Rose's story.
• Disproportionate Retribution: Jhon forces Dabe to stand in the corner without clothes all because he did not like the present that Dabe gave him.
• Extreme Doormat: Only when he's talking to Vrasky.
• I'm a Humanitarian: Eats a cake made out of Swet Bro's body.
• Jerkass: Has no self control, only thinks of himself and his various needs, and is a danger to the people around him.
• Refusal of the Call: In this continuity he refused to play Sburb because it looked too complicated, leading to Hecka Jef playing the game with Rose instead.
• Smart Ball: Suddenly able to predict the trajectory of his roller coaster as it flies, despite being shown trying to do things such as feed his posters and finding Sburb too complex for him in earlier pages. However, this retroactively makes sense after the revelation that he is the Boss of Wheels, as his aspect revolves around movement.
• Troubling Unchildlike Behavior:
  • Despite apparently being 13 years old, the first thing he says during the pesterlog with Rose/Rose is “hi TT i just turne 13 today so can we have s*x??”
  • Starts removing his clothes once he sees Rose/Rose in “Act 3nd”.
  • Whatever this is.
  • And this.
• What the Hell, Hero?: Rose's reaction when Jhon just gives up on playing Sburb to save her life so he could play RollerCoaster Tycoon.

Bg'ogubmom'ibulsprite

Rose's mother and Bg'ogbbglog'ybul, fused into one sprite. After Rose's mom dies from being run over by a Dersite shuttle, she is fused with Bg'ogbbglog'ybulsprite to help Rose win her session.

• All-Powerful Bystander: She's the leader of the horrer terrers with all the power that comes with it... but due to being a sprite, she's content being Rose's Exposition Fairy. It's justified because not only does her love for Jhon frequently distract her, but the almighty power of the horrer terrers can't save them from Lord English.
• Heroic Sacrifice: Momi saves Rose from being run over by a Dersite shuttle by pushing her aside to take her place.
• What Does She See in Him?: Completely in love with Jhon Ebgret, a relationship that heavily disgusts Rose for a wide variety of reasons.

Dabe Stidrer

John's "son". A wimpy boy who frequently cries and is seen naked.

• Adaptational Wimp: Here, Dabe is perpetually submissive to Jhon and cries often.
• Happiness in Slavery: Jhon abuses Dabe and treats him as a slave. Dabe doesn't mind this most of the time, although he objects to being forced into a beesuit and some of Jhon's punishments.
• Naked People Are Funny: Jhon forces him to stand in the corner with no clothes, and he remains naked for much of the comic. He's later forced by Jhon to wear a bee suit, something he is not happy about.
• Prone to Tears: A defining trait of his.

Hrates Bocars

• Adaptation Name Change: For joke reasons, he is instead known as "Hrates Bocars", the name of his troll universe counterpart.
• Defecting for Love: Not for his own love, but he's such a Shipper on Deck that he runs away with Dabe to reunite him with Jhon.
• Shipper on Deck: For Jhon/Dabe.

Rubs Juice

• Shout-Out: His name references one of the Twitter handles of RJ Lake, one of the musicians who contributed to Homestuck.

Jaed Hardly

Her Chumhandle is garbageGothic [GG].

• Bestiality Is Depraved: Makes out with her own dog.
• Flanderization: Jaed's other traits are deliberately erased and her furry fascinations are exaggerated.
• Flat Character: She's a furry. That's pretty much it.
• God Save Us from the Queen!: The second she becomes ruler of Prostit, she forces the people to dress up in animal ears, and jails the civilians that refuse to comply.

• Killed Off for Real: Dies in Verticle Movements after getting overwhelmed by Freshdarkgermysprite³'s powers.

Heckacious Jeferey

The third player in the Sburb session. He and Swet Bro were originally going to play Sburb together, but when Jhon killed Swet Bro, Hecka joined the game to exact revenge on his killer. His Chumhandle is anonamousVengance [AV] and his Land is the Land of Darknes (sic) and Ruses.

• Adaptational Name Change: From Hella Jeff to Hecka Jef.
• Bash Brothers: With Femorafreack.
• Hero Antagonist: Due to him forming a grudge against Rose (for wanting to save Jhon), either he or she is one.
• Only Known by Their Nickname: Everyone either calls him Hecka Jef or Hecka, rather than his surprisingly preppier real name Heckacious Jeferey.
• Revenge: Hecka Jef has sworn to take revenge on Jhon for killing Swet Bro.
• Time Master: SBURB categorizes him as a Muse of Time.
• Walking Spoiler: Parodied, as the first act takes great pains to hide his identity.
• Wholesome Crossdresser: He wears his Muse of Time robe quite well.

• Ascended Extra: From an extremely minor character in Homestuck to one of the major supporting characters.
• Bash Brothers: With Hecka Jef.
• Cool Shades: Part of his outfit as a cop.
• Super Cop: When he finds the illegal roller coaster Jhon made, he has no problem driving his car from under a meteor, using the track as a ramp, and landing on a flying airplane when he falls short. Afterwards, he immediately continues the chase by seeking another method to pursue Jhon.
  • Even though he's a badass there's no denying he's terrible at his job, though.

• An Arm and a Leg: Jhon cuts off his hand to prevent him from taking Jhon's mail.
• Love Martyr: He gets his hand cut off by Jhon and doesn't even complain, not even when Jhon remarks that his incapacitated father is lazy for almost bleeding out.
• Official Couple: With the Dacronian Dignity.

Dacronian Dignity

• Adaptational Personality Change: Like all corrupted characters. DD goes from a stone-cold, classy killer to an incredibly gullible and infantile idiot who falls in love with the guy he was sent to kill.
• Defecting for Love: Jack sends him to "take care" of Dadd, but due to a combination of Literal-Minded stupidity and general stupidity, he falls in love with Dadd and stops taking Jack's orders.
• In Love with the Mark: Only he never comprehended he was supposed to kill said mark, so now they're husbands.
• Official Couple: With Dadd.

Fresh Dark Germy³sprite

• Casting a Shadow: After getting access to both of the rings, they gain the powers of the horrer terrers.
• From Nobody to Nightmare: One was just a regular guy before getting access to the knowledge of a Sprite, one was the quen of Prostit who got desposed, and one was just a regular bug stand manager. All three of them become prototyped twofold twice and gain access to the dark powers of the horror terrers.
• Fusion Dance: Of the Whyte Quen, Germy and Fresh Jimmy.
• Jive Turkey: This manner of speaking tends to come from their Fresh Jimmy half.
• Pronoun Trouble: When confronting the Blapck Quen, they temporarily get confused about their own gender because they're comprised of two men and a woman.
  FRESH WHYTE GERMYSPRITE: JUST COME FITE ME LIKE A MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  FRESH WHYTE GERMYSPRITE: I MEAN WONAN
  FRESH WHYTE GERMYSPRITE: UMMMMMM
  FRESH WHYTE GERMYSPRITE: WHAT GANDER ARE YOU IF YOUR QUEN AND ALSO GERMY?
  FRESH WHYTE GERMYSPRITE: WAIT
  FRESH WHYTE GERMYSPRITE: WHAT GENDRER AM I??????????
• Took a Level in Badass: By the time of Verticle Movements, they are in possession of both of the rings.

• Heroic Seductress: She uses the technique of Ass Distaction in battle so she can distract a bunch of imps. The second time she uses it on Rose, it doesn't go so well for her.
• Killed Off for Real: Vaporized by Rose.

• Characters Dropping Like Flies: The trolls reveal to Rose that the Demons of Color and Darkness have been slowly killing them off one by one, and they don't have much time left. Kanaya states that most of them are already dead, although it's unclear who she's counting and she may be including some of the ones that left the session.

Kraket Vantage

• Foe Romance Subtext: With Hecka, first getting flustered after Hecka's declaration of hate, and then later declaring to Rose that he'd like to "hates*x" him.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He's angry and mean towards his friends, but in his "The Reason You Suck" Speech towards Vrasky, he calls her out for treating them all like garbage. ...Except Eridumb, who he thinks deserved it.

Dabros Nimtram

• Butt-Monkey: Nobody treats him with respect, and Kraket ultimately kills him just to use his computer.
• Killed Off for Real: Decapitated by Vrasky only to be brought back by Fefieri, and then decapited again by Kraket, which is followed by him getting killed in the dreambubbles.

Terexi Pypes

Her Chumhandle is gelloCAlibater [GC].

Gametez Maraca

Equihorse Zahcok

Petpeta Legion

Kanaya Maryam

An unusual troll who seems to be one of the few characters not affected by Stylistic Suck. Her troltag is grinAudacious [GA] and her Land is the Land of Rayes and Froges.

Known to others as Papaya Lesbyam.

• Flanderization: Papaya is single-mindedly obsessed with girls, kissing and kissing girls.
• Only Sane Man: Among the trols, though G0dhead Aradia may also qualify..
• Tomato in the Mirror: Like Rose, Kanaya was previously corrupted but has no memory of it.
• Your Days Are Numbered: When messaging Rose after Verticle Movements, she reveals the demons are slowly making their way to her, and she only has around twenty or thirty minutes until they arrive.

Aradead Megadie/G0dhead Aradead/G0dhead Aradia

A ghostly troll who was killed by Vrasky prior to entering the session. Her troltag is alpacalipsArise [AA] and she has no land, due to not being a player in the first place.

• Ascend to a Higher Plane of Existence: And how. She literally ascends not just the boundries of the comic, but the very plane of fiction in general. She ascends so far that she managed to ascend past the Fourth Wall and into our universe as a black hole.
• A Form You Are Comfortable With: After becoming the essence of the universe itself, she uses her G0dhead form to be tangible enough to communicate to the reader. When she decides to observe her friends' session, she instead takes an Enhanced form.
• Fourth-Wall Observer: Growing large enough to observe reality allowed her to understand the fourth wall between our universe and fiction, but as she notes, observing is all she can really do. After all, she can't exactly break the real fourth wall since o's still writing her.
• Fusion Dance: Exaggerated. At first, fusing with Vrasky's sprit turns her into essentially a trol with an 8-ball for a head. Then her quest for knowledge causes her to prototype with other people's sprits until she's become one with every sprit in the universe.
• Meaningful Name: For a trol that spends most of her time in the comic as a ghost, her name can't be any more appropriate.
• Meaningful Rename: After fusing with several kernelsprites in a row, she decides to call herself Aradia Megido.
• Mythology Gag: "G0dhead Aradead" is a reference to Godhead Pickle Inspector from Problem Sleuth.
• Our Wormholes Are Different: While technically a black hole, she functions more like a wormhole. Anything or anyone sucked into her event horizen becomes fictional, with absolutely no way to ever escape.
• Single-Issue Wonk: Her obsession with ghosts leads her to prototype herself with every kernelsprite so she can look even more ghostly. When she attains even more knowledge due to her prototypings, it stops being an issue.
• The Smurfette Principle: She becomes the comic's first (and so far only) whyte words girl/female narrator.
• Walking Spoiler: Pretty much everything related to Aradead is some kind of spoiler.

Eridumb Ambora

• Abhorrent Admirer: Vies for the affection of every other troll, much to their chagrin.

Fefieri Pepsis

Sollecks Copter

• Bestiality Is Depraved: Sollecks: F*ck bees.
• Driven to Madness: Happens to him when he realises that the only thing he can ever think of is bees.
• Driven to Suicide: He tries to kill himself by falling, but it does not work, as he gets “alien abducted” while falling.
• Flat Character: Deconstructed, as his only defining trait is liking bees, and he attempts to kill himself after realising he can't think about anything besides bees. This realisation arguably makes him more complex than most of the corrupted trolls.

Vrasky Sekret

Vrasky Sekret is the daddie of everyone in the troll session. Cruel and dominating, she is single-mindedly obsessed with being relevant. Her troltag is acranidGrid [AG] and her Land is the Land of Joojoos and Vrasky.

• Attention Whore: Hoo boy. Vrasky hates it when the attention goes away from her, and the main reason why she started working with with the Final Agent is because he said he could make her relevant.
• Berserk Button: When others fail to listen to her or regard her supposed "importance".
• Can't Take Criticism: When Kraket calls her out for what she's done to them, she responds by kicking him in the face and siccing Equihorse on him.
• CAPS LOCK: Constantly types with lots of capital letters.
• Catchphrase: "I AM V8RY IM8ORT8ANT"
• Composite Character: Vrasky takes over Snoman's role in place of the troll session Blapck Quen.
• Control Freak: Obsessively monitors the lives of her subs so she can punish them for the slightest error.
• Dominatrix: She's everyone's daddy, and she's not afraid to enforce that rule. If she catches wind of anyone being "very na8ghty", she'll be right there to punish them.
• Fat Bitch: O has drawn her with multiple double chins, and "bitch" is an understatement when it comes to her behavior.
• Flanderization: Vriska's canon Inferiority Superiority Complex is warped into Vrasky's obsession with being "IM8ORT8NT" above all else.
• It's All About Me: Oh yeah. If she ever does anything nice for anybody, it's purely out of self-interest.
• Large Ham: She tends to be extremely dramatic, as seen in her introduction.
• Monstrous Cannibalism: She eats a young troll, seemingly a corrupted Damara.
• Narcissist: She thinks herself to be the definition of relevant, and constantly talks about how important she is.
• NO INDOOR VOICE: Vrasky constantly shouts at others and uses an abundance of exclamation marks.
• Perpetual Frowner: Her default expression is an open-mouthed scowl that never lets up, and she is the only troll that refuses to smile when Fefieri makes a law instituting it.

Swet Bro

• We Hardly Knew Ye: Killed by Jhon shortly after his debut. He returns in the dreambubbles, and is the only character we see escape Lord English, implying he will be relevant later.

Obana

• Enfant Terrible: Literally, as he became a tyrant president less than three hours after he was born.
• President Evil: Immediately ruins the economy after arriving on Jhons planet.

Waynerd Vagibong/Warwarwy Villain

The Biig Man/Billards Maniak

• Demonic Possession: He's currently being used a vessel for Lord English.
• Eye Scream: Stabs his own eyes after looking into those of Lil Cal.

Spdaes Sleck

• Ax-Crazy: He skins Itchy alive for a disguise, and later on kills Rubs Juice for flirting with Clover. It says a lot that even the Felt are shocked by Sleck's depravity.
• Establishing Character Moment: One of the first commands given to him to stab his knife with his other knife. Unlike Jack, Sleck obliges, giving the reader the first clue that this version of Slick is way more Ax-Crazy than his canon counterpart.
• Platonic Life-Partners: With Kraket.

Blapck Quen

Blapck Kink & Whyte Kink

• The Dividual: They're more or less interchangeable.
• Killed Off for Real: In the humans' session, their deaths in the doomed timeline are caused by Prostit crashing into the Battlefield. In the current timeline, they are killed by WV's army. In the troll session, the Blapck Kink kills the Whyte Kink, and Vrasky finishes off the Blapck Kink.

Authority Regulator?

whyte wordes guy/Doc Scratch

• Exact Words: Noted by Crowbar, who comments that whatever Scratch says is always true, but vague enough to have a billion different meanings behind it. For example, when he asked about if they would ever be able to return to the uncorrupted reality, Scratch responded "That reality does not exist."
  But of course that could mean twenty different things, and he knows it. Was it destroyed? Does it not exist yet? Does it not exist in this timeline? Is it actually just a figment of your imagination?
• Fourth-Wall Observer: Like in Homestuck, he talks directly to the reader, who is also a physical presence within the comic.
• The Omniscient: He knows everything. He even knows about the things that happened to him in Homestuck.

Lord Spanish/English

The Felt

A group of mobsters under the employ of Lord English, who slowly die over the course of the Intermishin. Notable for nearly all of them being uncorrupted.
For information on Snoman, see Vrasky Sekret's folder.

• Characters Dropping Like Flies: Believe it or not, the Midight Crewd is able to kill them off faster than the Midnight Crew ever did.
• Even Evil Has Standards: Crowbar and Stitch are both disgusted by Sleck skinning Itchy alive for a disguise.
• Gotta Kill 'Em All: Spdaes makes it his mission to kill them because they destroyed his underground horse-racing operation.
• Known by Corrupted Name: The Midight Crewd refers to them with corrupted names.
• Too Dumb to Live: Itchy literally runs into Sleck's knife and dies.
• Uniformity Exception: Inverted: All of them are uncorrupted save for Snowman.
• The Un-Reveal: Clover is aware of the cause of the corruption, but Sleck kills him before he could muse over the answer.

Rad Timmy/Sad Timmy

• Heroic Sacrifice: Takes a missile for Jhon so he can god tier.
• Meaningful Rename: Started out as Rad Timmy thanks to his sweet hat. He considers calling himself just Timmy when he gets a significantly less cool hat to replace it, but all the teasing he got over it eventually made him miserable enough to become Sad Timmy.

whyte wordes guy 2/Final Agent

• Establishing Character Moment: When o asks Final Agent to take over the narration for them, Final Agent flips out and yells "What am I, your goddamn babysitter?", quickly establishing him as Doc Scratch's opposite.
• Hypocrite: He derides Doc Scratch for kidnapping and locking up the Handmaid, but Scratch points out he also has locked the Condesce away. Final Agent dismisses it, saying she deserved it.
• The Man Behind the Man: Almost all of the bad stuff Daddy Vrasky did (including the death of almost all Trolls) can be traced back to him, since he's the one who gave the previously mentioned task to Vrasky and made her more powerful.
• Purple Is Powerful: He lives on Harold's purple moon, wears a purple suit, and talks to the reader in his all purple room.
• Sibling Yin-Yang: He's much more blunt and profane than his "brother" Doc Scratch.

• Canon Immigrant: He was first made by Cogent Invalid for The Hous Swich Places, a fangame parodying Hiveswap.

• Bound and Gagged: Doc Scratch keeps him in his trunk for reasons unknown.

• Author Avatar: Whenever o makes a physical appearance, they portray themselves through Hella Jeff.]]
• Lemony Narrator: They frequently slip their opinions towards the story and characters into all narration. They're biased towards Hecka Jef and against Rose and Jhon.
• One-Letter Name: It's just 'o'. Yes, the lowercase is a part of their name.